Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
It's rare for me to talk about my relationship status, but over the course of a few months I have experienced through close friends and family the hardships of broken relationships and people left feeling empty and hopeless—something I have really yet to experience and hope not to. There's so much pressure on young people to be dating and out and about finding a man or woman to have on your arm. What even is dating anymore? Swiping right?
I've had my fair share of Tinder experiences and dates, this probably won't be the end of it, but it has really made me reconsider the reasons we date and find people to be with nowadays. High school was never an option for me to date. I personally just didn't have much interest in dating and then breaking up before we graduated. "People just date to break up," was my impression of it all. It was just so taboo to me because people would just fake be together to "be together".
Now that I'm in my second year of college, I've got to wondering about how my parent's generation just happened to meet their soulmates in college, because frankly, I haven't found any contenders. Times have changed and I think expectations are way higher, now that we can customize our dating preferences online and immediately swipe away the duds. How have we become fixated on finding this "perfect one," when we're all too fixated on making ourselves appear to be the "perfect one" online?
These past two years in college have opened my eyes to what I really want moving forward, socially and career-wise. I've begun to embrace my autonomy and have become more inspired because of it. I've been producing creative work that I believe in—doing that is hard when you have to worry about your significant other. There have been so many instances that I've noticed people being hindered and cut off from fully being their monarch butterfly selves just because they were afraid of releasing from that bond (or crysallis if we're staying on the topic of butterflies) for a moment to do something they themselves wanted to do.
Knowing that I have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want during this period of my life has not only strengthened my mental wellbeing but the way I approach challenges and also when I do meet new people, I'm confident in myself. I don't have anyone to report to or prove it to, but me. Of course, I would be open to relationships and all the joys that come with it—I'm not anti-dating. Finding myself now, during college, has lead me to reflect on who I want to become and who I would consider letting into my life.
There also comes a point in time where I think every middle-aged person feels like they're forced to marry or settle with the first person they see. What a terrible way to connect with someone! Wouldn't you think? I mean obviously that's not entirely the case unless you're on 90 Day Fiance, then I guess you don't have much of a choice. I want my 20s to be a fun exploration of people and relationships, but I also want to remind myself that I don't need anyone to fulfill some social need or standard; that we're all just supposed to have dated a lot of people by the time we're thirty.
Hello April! The month we've all been waiting for and a busy month at that. There is a lot in store for me this month as I'm now looking at my calendar and there seems to be a mark on each day for me. It's the first day back to school and while I've had a very relaxing spring break visiting family, painting Bob Ross, and rejuvenating my calamity in the country side, I'm glad to be back in the city. I think everyone gets a bit antsy this time of year with the sun teasing us with rays and a fresh spring start.
01. One of the things that I have been trying to focus on is this blog and creating content that I'm proud of; that isn't the clichè fashion blogger type posts. I have noticed that I am getting more into lifestyle posts, or at least my tags say so, because I connect with this type of writing more. I have also been needing to take my camera out a bit, I've hidden it away out of pure laziness and a lack of motivation to edit all my photos and I just can't use that excuse because I love my camera and the photos I take on it.
02. The winter slum is over and that means I need to revamp the way I present myself. Not for anyone, but me, myself, and I. I got very comfortable wearing sweats and Uggs, but sometimes I wish I had the same fashion motivation to take the extra effort, wake up early, and actually add some things to my morning regime. I would say that my daily regime is very low maintenence, but when I do give myself the time, I feel more productive, confident, and an overall sense of "I can do this today," just because I wore jeans or swiped a coat of mascara on.
03. I don't know if I formally announced, but I will be studying abroad this summer in Europe and this quarter I start my class that coincides with the course. I will be studying international advertising with sixteen other DePaul students who we work with during the quarter. I will be visitng three countries: France, Spain, and The Netherlands for three weeks building my portfolio and conducting team projects while I'm there exploring the culture and gaining a global perspective of the ad industry. This will be my first time leaving the country and I am so excited to be going. I am not sure how I feel about advertising, since my focus is public relations, but having knowledge in both areas will be more than beneficial for my future in the industry.
04. When I'm not focusing on my blog or school work, I have been very involved in two student organizations at DePaul: Her Campus Media and DePaul PRSSA. I believe that I have mentioned these in the past, but recently I got the opportunity to not only edit for Her Campus, but become one of their social media content creators. This quarter I have had a really fun time playing around with designs for our new flyers and media posts—something I've always kind of loved. Her Campus is mainly an online college run magazine for students to openly express themselves, so being a part of the process and seeing all of the work being done is amazing.
PRSSA has also brought me onto their executive board this year and we start our first meetings this quarter. This is something that is really important to me professionally and socially. All of the people and connections I've made have been so worthwhile—we're like a big family. It's amazing to see how much talent there is. I will be recruiting new members into the organization and one of my responsibilities is to handle the fall involvement fair.
05. What's next on the agenda for me is finding an internship to do when I come back this summer. I know it may be a little early to do so, but you can never be too early job searching. I have all the resources I need at school, it's just getting it done and meeting with people to talk more about my options. I really have to tackle the search with an open mind, otherwise I'll be frantically looking for internships next year. I've found that a lot of people luck out on internships because they know a specific person who works for this specific company—it can be very intimidating when everyone around you is a step ahead. So, my goal for this month is to really hone down my search and reach out to my career center to get a head start. Experience is experience, so who knows what might happen?
April is one of those months when everyone is getting back from their exotic spring break vacations (or stay-cations) and turning their heads back to work and getting things done before summer starts. For me, it's a time of busy-busy and opportunity. I just have to keep my mind focused on things I want to work towards without comparing it to others—remaining authentic. I have a lot of promising things ahead of me and it will be important to remember that. What's on your to-do list for April?
I think that was the world's longest January ever. Not to mention the coldest. If you weren't aware of the polar vortex that was happening practically everywhere throughout the US, well Chicago went sub-zero and had a -50-degree windchill. Then it went 100 degrees warmer and I've experienced some whacky Chicago winters, but this one tops the cake.
I'm sure you're sick of hearing about the weather, but us midwesterners are fascinated. January seems to slump a lot of people, especially because it's frigid and everyone is trying to get back into the swing of things. I've found it really hard to transition back into my routine, but I'm trying as hard as I can to keep up with school!
Everyone I know is looking forward to sunnier and brighter days. While I hate pushing my life away and forgetting about the past months, it really feels refreshing to turn the calendar and start over. Here's what I might be doing this month...
01. While I have been really getting back into study mode, I haven't put my blog on the back burner. As you might have noticed, I have a new and improved look! I've been trying to develop a theme over the past month that I really like and I think what I'm doing will suffice. It's mainly finding the right editing filters and designs that I want to maintain across all my platforms. So far, I am quite pleased with how it all looks and am excited for what new content I will create within the next month.
02. My dad and I are going to see Panic! At the Disco this month and I cannot tell you enough how excited I am for it. I have been a passionate fan and listener for a few years now and sometimes I forget how much fun I have at concerts.
This year I would love to plan to go to more concert outings or like music festivals. Thankfully, since I live in the city and am so close to so many smaller concert venues, I'm able to catch some of my favorite smaller bands that come to town. One of the major perks of going to school in Chicago.
03. I am an active member of my schools Public Relations Student Society (PRSSA) which is a pre-professional organization that public relations or communications students (and all students for that matter) can partake in. Recently, I just applied to be one of their e-board members that control their content creation and blog, which I have also written for here if you are interested.
I have really enjoyed what I have been able to participate in so far with the group and the friends that I have already made because of it. It's really not easy trying to find your niche in college and sometimes you just have to apply yourself and be open to opportunities. PRSSA has taught me that being present and showing up will make all the difference for yourself professionally. It has also been a great way for me to actually step inside the industry and get real experience from PR professionals. So, let's hope I get the position.
04. I've been keeping up with yoga and continuing with it ever since sophomore year, but the repetition and same vinyasa flows have been making me a little bored, to be honest. As much as I love it, I need to switch things up a bit with my fitness routine. Just this last week I tried out a boxing boot camp, that killed my arms, but made me even more motivated to use different parts of my body I never thought could get sore.
05. The last major thing I want to accomplish this month is my mentality. I have no plans for Valentine's Day and I feel like this is the time of year when everyone wishes there was someone in their life and they just get sad. I've spent many Valentine's Days alone and they're really not that bad. I don't buy into all of the hearts and chocolate crap anyway.
Besides worrying about my relationship status, there are a lot of worse scenarios that I could think of that don't effect me right now, so I need to remind myself that my problems now are miniscule compared to what I might be facing a month, year, or five years from now. I need to enjoy this time I have (sounds like I'm dying). I can assure you I am alive and thriving, but there will undoubtedly be good and bad days. What's on your February to-do list?
Besides worrying about my relationship status, there are a lot of worse scenarios that I could think of that don't effect me right now, so I need to remind myself that my problems now are miniscule compared to what I might be facing a month, year, or five years from now. I need to enjoy this time I have (sounds like I'm dying). I can assure you I am alive and thriving, but there will undoubtedly be good and bad days. What's on your February to-do list?
It's that time of winter in mid-January when the temperature starts to plummet and the forecast is snowstorm after snowstorm. Over MLK weekend, which was a four day weekend for me, I decided to go back home to regroup after being at school for about two weeks now. It's convenient enough for me to take the trains home and I wanted to beat the snowstorm headed our way in the Midwest. Suffice to say, it was a relaxing and a rather eventful weekend. I have some friends back home, so out of spontaneity we went laser tagging.
I wanted to express my overwhelming feeling that a lot of people get this time of the year when life picks back up again, but you're still in vacation mode and the back of your mind wishes you were snuggled up in your bed with your pup or hanging out with all of your closest friends back home. It is so hard being comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Especially since I only live 20 miles away from home. Living on my own has been a challenge and I'm not afraid to say that I've also been homesick. Luckily, I can get nannying jobs back home with my families so it allows me to stay overnight or on the weekend sometimes. However, I get this huge feeling of guilt like I can't do it on my own. Everyone else is able to go away to college for 10+ weeks without seeing their family and pets, and I can't last two weeks. It's been an internal struggle at times. I will get so focused on school and then all of a sudden I just get a wave of loneliness and discomfort.
My best friend is studying for about four or five months in London right now and I just can't think of what feelings she has gone through this past couple of weeks. There are things I want to do, like study abroad in Europe this summer, and I know I can do it, but if I'm going to want to lead the life I want, I'm going to have to find ways to keep myself going.
Not only do I need to slow down my thoughts and worries, but I also need to remember where I am. Especially since I am in a great place right now in school and in my life. This is the time where I have to make most of my college experience and take it all in. I forget that sometimes. The hard life isn't here yet and the realization probably won't hit me until I walk the stage. At times when I get into this feeling of guilt, loneliness, and like my life isn't as planned out as I hoped, I try to distract myself and focus on things that are important and release me from these feelings.
Whether that be writing it all down, so that I can at least document this feeling for later, but share with people that they're not in it alone either. I also make it important to talk to people and friends, watch a movie or show, read, finish homework, listen to music, or something that makes you tired enough. I even enjoy meeting up to study or face timing my other college friends to check in on them, too. I've noticed that I feel these bad feelings late at night—nights are the worst I've concluded.
When we're alone, in our own rooms, stuck with our thoughts, no one to talk to, we obsess and digress into a state of gloom. So, when there are times that the darkness consumes you late at night, remember where you are, who in your life supports you and cares about you, what great things you've accomplished thus far, and blow away the negative thought clouds that make you sad and regretful. There's no need for them because you can't control the past and you can't dwell on the future. I've taken time to get back into an actual routine and sometimes I forget about blogging and haven't felt very motivated to take more pictures for it or plan posts, and I think it's okay.
I'm trying to find a pace that works for me. I've worked very hard these past two years and dealing with college can be a lot at times. I might just post once a week, or two if I feel like it. I don't want to hold myself accountable for taking breaks and going home if I want to. This guilt is only affecting me and one of the reasons I chose a school so close to home is so that I can go home when I want to. I can't force myself at times when I'm feeling low and sad. There are things I want to achieve while I'm at school and I can't do it all alone.
Over the years, my writing and blogging process has definitely evolved. Probably for the better, but I definitely don't have it down to a T yet. My creative process is a bit all over the place sometimes, to be honest. Not only does drafting posts take a while, but setting aside time to take all of my photos is something I've come to hassle with on occasion. The beginning of my blog journey consisted of crappy iPhone pictures and one sentence descriptions that lacked any substance or personality whatsoever. So, I think I've come along way and I've definitely never shared what this process is even like and how I balance everything else I do.
It amazes me that I've stuck to a Tuesday/Thursday posting schedule for the past four years, giving myself breaks, taking my own photos, and coming up with personal and enticing content (or at least I think it's enticing). Being a blogger among millions of other bloggers has shed light on what kind of creative industry this is and what I want to make of it. Comparing myself to all of the "pretty perfect" and aesthetically-strict blogs have taught me that I just want to maintain authenticity and realness with my writing and content, as I have been for a while now.
I really haven't had a second thought about followers or numbers because the success and gratification have come through my own improvement and the small joys I get from people who reach out to me about my work. That's what keeps me going and I think that's truly what differentiates me from all of those other content plug and chuggers who crave superficial popularity and money because I don't get paid at all. I know it may seem a little harsh, but I think now more than ever that criticism deems true. I've met bloggers who don't do it for the right reasons: fame, fortune, popularity, all that crap. However, I've also met hardworking and dedicated creators like me who do it because they love it and get more out of it than just the numbers.
As for my writing process, it usually starts with something as mundane and old school as scratching out rough drafts of posts I want to write in advance. Sometimes I get inspiration out of the blue for a post to write and I will create it right away, but a lot of what I plan on writing is prepared in advance. This just helps me so that I am not overwhelmed with a lot of writing and brainstorming during school. I've found this process more efficient and not as stressful as many other bloggers might, it just works. A lot of what influences my posts are just things relevant to me at the time and surrounding circumstances like seasons and big events that are going on. I've definitely hit rock bottom with figuring out exactly what I want to say or do with posts, but other times I'm on a writing spree and will just hash out material back and forth.
I am my own writer, editor, publisher, photographer, fact checker, and blog designer. I don't hire anyone and don't really have the means to do so. Since my blog is out of a hobby, I don't feel the need to put so much money or extra help into the process. I think the fact that I actually do everything gives me a lot more freedom and personality that some blogs who are run by more than one person lack identity. I have considered blogging as being a part of my job someday, but I'm honestly more okay with it just being a passionate hobby and having my job compliment it in some way.
I have goals I would like to reach professionally in public relations and blogging has definitely contributed in that aspect. A lot of my writing is done in my "soft office," also known as, my bed. As I'm writing this now in my bed with my pup at my feet, I've also done a lot of writing in my dorm room on my desk, in my local libraries, coffee shops, and even in the car on my iPhone. Thankfully, my creative juices have been flowing a lot lately and I think that's mainly because I'm on break and make myself really productive.
I'll be honest, I wish I could develop better photography skills and improve on more ways to take advantage of all the tools I have on my DSLR, but I just can't seem to figure it out. I really would like to get a new lens for my Canon T5i that I've had since I've started blogging and somehow change the look of my posts or create a new theme somehow. My skill in photoshop is really limited and my access to it is only when I'm at school. I've always liked my raw photos, but think my blog could use a little more color and uniformity. Maybe I should take more photo classes, who knows! I just need to take my camera out more.
I guess a lot of blogs benefit from the perfected photos, but it just never appealed to me. Even if there are like little marks on the table I take flat lays on, I just don't feel the need to fix it. Who cares? A lot of bloggers would. For my flat lays in particular, I literally just use my side table and push it over to my window. I did used to use a piece of wood with marble contact paper, but overtime didn't like the look of the gloss. I considered getting professional box lighting, but natural light just always attracts me more and my pictures turn out a lot better. I usually have to wake up earlier around like 9 or 10am to just make sure that the sun is alligned right, it all matters! If I try taking pictures around 3 or 4, I'd be lucky if there was any sunlight because it gets dark so early. I'm also usually standing on a chair when I take photos and there are products and decor sitting all over my room.
Blogging has definitely filled the creative void in my life. I miss all of my art classes, but I learn so much from my blog itself. The writing, photography, and blog designing all contribute to my need of creativity. I've also noticed more and more that I'm writing for myself—I mean that I'm not just creating posts that I think readers would like, buying products to just simply review and hype up, but I'm writing about things that I feel are important and relevant to address or question. Yes, I have been doing some beauty and fashion related posts, but a lot of my friends have noticed my personal and more upfront writing to be more favorable.
As I've always mentioned, I'm constantly changing and evolving as I grow and learn with this blog and in this community of writers and readers. The most important thing I remind myself with is that I do this because I love it and continue to thrive from it. It isn't forced at all and I haven't put pressure on myself to look or seem a certain way. I go my own pace and in that, I think my blog and writing benefits so much. It's everyone that constantly supports me that tells me I'm doing something right.
"The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go." -Anonymous
One of the most redeeming qualities of fall is the ability to start over. So much has happened this year, good and bad, but knowing that you get a reset button is the most humbling and refreshing feeling. It's a warm hug from the universe. Anything you think is going wrong in your life at the moment will work itself out in the future and everything will be at peace.
We hold onto relationships, grudges, memories, stress, and everything else. Nobody is telling us what is and what isn't important to hold onto. Having a chance to reflect and remember is great, but dwelling on the past and what is out of our control will only serve pain and regret.
A lot of the times I try to take control of things. I think many people can relate to that and we all do it subconsciously. We all want what's best for ourselves and in some ways, it can be a really great thing. Taking initiative and going after things is never bad. However, when we try to take more than what we can handle, it becomes chaotic and stress-inducing.
At least I've noticed that so many people, like me, are in fifty places at once all the time—nonstop. It's great to have momentum in your life, but when there are thoughts that pinch your nerves and make you have many double-takes, your mind can really mess things up.
Just these past couple of weeks I was having basically an existential crisis. The fact that I'm almost halfway done with college is a scary thought. Me trying to make every moment count tries to overachieve and put many things on my plate all at once. The anxiety that comes from it is not worth it. I've realized worrying about things out of my control just makes life more difficult than it needs to be. The smaller things that bug me won't affect me in a week, month, or year from now; it's something I forget constantly. This season has definitely brought me great insight as to who I want to be and what I need to focus more and less on.
It's not an easy thing to do. When so much is happening to you all at once, I know that trying to find a sense of release and content is not always ideal. For me, this feeling comes in phases and different times of the year depending on what's happening in my life. I've noticed that the best things that have happened to me came out of nowhere when I wasn't looking or expecting them too. It's like when all is good and I'm more to myself doing things I love, others around me reflect that and things tend to work themselves out.
I find that when I release those dwelling thoughts and obligations, I can take my best foot forward and move onto the next best thing. That's all we can hope and there's no better way of looking at it like that. Finding ways to improve from your past, acknowledging it, and never looking back or second-guessing yourself. Life can be so much simpler. I promise.
"Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be."- Sonia Ricotti
I'm already halfway into college and I'm still fathoming reasons I made it through high school and how that all even happened. I had one of the most positive roller coaster rides in high school and managed to survive and experience as many things as I possibly could. Two years later, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing or would like to do yet, but that's okay because it all works out in the end. Or so we hope.
I spent half of my high school career wondering what my purpose was and the other half wondering what my purpose was going to be when I graduated. What I was going to do and where I was going to go. High school stressed me out the most sophomore and senior year. Mainly because I didn't make the softball team and I was waiting on a scholarship I heard back from a week after I graduated. So, you can say things got a lil crazy in my mind. And now my youngest sister is going to graduate this year and I thought this would be a nice post for her to look at (if she even dares to).
There are some things I wish were put into perspective for me before I left for college, but gradually I managed to figure these out on my own. Even if you aren't going off to college, maybe these help remind you that there are some things we need to accept in life. I'm going to be honest here and say that there will be difficult things that happen to us in this transition and you will be okay.
You are Going to Get Through It
In high school and in college, you are going to have bad days. You might get a D on a paper, you will get lost, you may feel stranded at school, you will want to come home everyday when you can't, you will miss your family, but it is all going to be just fine. There is someone there supporting you and ready to listen to you whenever you need. These little obstacles will pass and you will find a sunnier day ahead.
The Little Things Do Not Matter
You will stress over a group project, worry about how you're going to eat in the dining hall alone, not have best friends right away, or any other small stress that might bug you. You cannot let yourself sweat the small things because they will not serve you in the future week, month, or year from now.
You Will Lose Friends
You are going to lose high school friends and that's just a part of everybody leaving home and growing up. You need to know that not everyone is going to "stay in touch" with you forever. While it is easy to Snapchat and all that with your friends, it will never be the same as meeting up in the lunchroom everyday and having that same group of people to talk to. Your entire friend sphere will change and you will have to accept a new diversity of people into your life because college is all about new perspectives.
The College You Choose Does Not Matter
Any college you end up choosing will give you the education and experience you want no matter what because it is what you ultimately make of it. My college experience so far has taught me to see the world differently more than high school ever did and I want you to not worry about the superficial things such as the college you pick or the fun parties everyone else is going to. There is so much more to college.
Not Knowing Your Path is Okay
You are going to get confused and feel like everyone else knows where they're headed. You can't think this. The way we compare ourselves to others gets the best of us and distracts us from what we need to focus on in our own lives. The more we worry about others, the less we achieve. Why put that much pressure on yourself?
You Will Have Regrets
You are going to second guess yourself at times. You will ask yourself if you could have done things differently in high school and made other choices in college. You might regret not auditioning for something, putting in more work for an exam, or all of the above. Worrying about what happened and what could have happened is not entirely in your control.
You Will Fail
You are going to totally not understand a chapter and completely bomb a quiz or a test. However, using these failures as growth will only help you succeed. Accept failure, but don't get discouraged from it.
Money Does Not Always Leave You in College
I thought that I was going to be broke my entire time at college, but there are many ways you can generate money throughout college that made me feel financially secure enough. Budgeting and taking note of expenses for one thing will help you not blow all your money, but finding an on-campus job, babysitting on the weekends, or selling clothes online are great ways to make extra cash. Your wallet can survive if you are smart about it.
You Will Feel Alone at Times
It is going to feel totally scary and awkward when most of your days are without the normal crew of people you see and talk to. You will not be with your best friends and you are going to feel like there is no one around to be your friend. In reality, everyone is in the same boat looking for someone to eat with, talk to, and to feel less uncomfortable with at school. Say hi to someone, but also embrace getting to know yourself more by yourself. College is about learning to be alone with your thoughts.
People are There to Help and Support You
No one just hands you the batan and says, "you're on your own forever". You have a family back home that loves you and a school of advisors and professors that are there to help you and to make your college experience worthwhile. There is no penalty for asking for help. No one will make fun of you. No one is going to judge you. Do not feel embarrased for being homesick. It takes time to adjust and you are not in it by yourself.
Emily, I hope you have a wonderful senior year and I know you will succeed in your college adventure to come. Things will come and go, challenges will arise, but great things are going to come out of it all. You are smart, beautiful, and strong enough to tackle anything and everything you set your mind to. I love you derp.
Your big sis,
Natalie
Living in the midst of the digital age has its ups and downs. We get to be with people and connected almost immediately at the touch of our buttons. You can say hello to literally anybody. Find out any information you want and—you've heard it all before.
About a week ago, I woke up to a very inconvenient misfortune that a lot of people are dealing with or have dealt with right now—being hacked.
Hacked.
Now I may sound a bit dramatic, but it's been awhile since my personal accounts have been compromised. I know I was hacked because a common trend among these hackers are when they are hacking people's Instagram accounts and changing the emails and some profiles, luckily mine was not. So that was a fun thing to wake up to.
I've gone through all the emailing and trying to contact Instagram, and I'm sure they're aware that this is happening to a majority of users, but it seems like they just don't care unless you're a verified public figure or influenser. So my schedule has been a bit crazy dealing with moving back into school and this is the last thing I wanted to deal with. Which, I feel like is understandable.
I have now since made a new Instagram @natrohman, not @natalierohman, because I have no access to my other account. I went through the two-factor verification process to ensure my account stays secure and I wish I could have known about that before it all happened.
Now I have a blank account and am starting from scratch. Zero followers and all. However, since this all went down, I have not once felt the desire or urge to get back into Instagram. I've honestly enjoyed this break from it and not worrying about who has posted what. I'd say my presence on social media is very regular and going into college without that has made things a bit more free flowing. I'm not worried about who's where or doing what. Not saying I won't be on it anymore, but it has been second nature for me to be on my phone all the time.
I have talked to some of my friends about the issue and ranted to them about losing all my "followers" and worrying about a hacker posting random things on my profile, but I've realized that it all doesn't matter.
Cue Gushiness
Cue Gushiness
No matter the followers or likes you have, you cannot be defined by something as superficial as a number on your profile, salary number, price tag, scale number, or any other number. At the end of the day, I still have those relationships with people that are the most important in my life. Instagram isn't going to leave. People are going to be on it all the time and they probably won't miss me. There are so many other interesting people on Instagram (hate to break it to you).
Ten years from now, my Instagram followers won't effect the person I want to become and the things I want to do. People my age get so caught up in developing a following and creating an "image" for themselves—for other people to perceive them as.
We curate ourselves to be our best selves online.
I don't know if this hacking was really a bad thing. Besides the fact that my personal information was taken away from me, it was time for me to realize that there is so much more to life than living behind filters and screens. The moments I experience and memories I create don't always have to be shared to everybody because those are special to me.
I don't want this post to resonate badly in regards to my views of using social media or others using it, but I also want it to be a post where you can reflect on your own usage or over usage of it. Does being on social media sites really spark joy in your life? How much do you depend on it? Does validation from your peers make you a better person or is it valued to you more introspectively?
I know I don't get many views on my blog, but that doesn't justify the work and effort I put into it. I do it for myself, as well. I try to be a better writer, content creator, and a story teller every day. However, counting our likes and followers can sway our views of ourselves and make us compare our worthiness to other people. To me, that sounds like digging yourself into a deep, dark hole. If there's anything I want you to really take away from this it is that you cannot allow others to define who you are or what you want to become.
Ten years from now, my Instagram followers won't effect the person I want to become and the things I want to do. People my age get so caught up in developing a following and creating an "image" for themselves—for other people to perceive them as.
We curate ourselves to be our best selves online.
I don't know if this hacking was really a bad thing. Besides the fact that my personal information was taken away from me, it was time for me to realize that there is so much more to life than living behind filters and screens. The moments I experience and memories I create don't always have to be shared to everybody because those are special to me.
I don't want this post to resonate badly in regards to my views of using social media or others using it, but I also want it to be a post where you can reflect on your own usage or over usage of it. Does being on social media sites really spark joy in your life? How much do you depend on it? Does validation from your peers make you a better person or is it valued to you more introspectively?
I know I don't get many views on my blog, but that doesn't justify the work and effort I put into it. I do it for myself, as well. I try to be a better writer, content creator, and a story teller every day. However, counting our likes and followers can sway our views of ourselves and make us compare our worthiness to other people. To me, that sounds like digging yourself into a deep, dark hole. If there's anything I want you to really take away from this it is that you cannot allow others to define who you are or what you want to become.
As I sit in my hammock on my university's quad, I thought it would be the perfect time to reflect on a few things that I have come to realize over this past year in college. Also, I wanted this post to be really helpful for any college newbies and freshman because you are in for a treat.
I wanted to plug in this really helpful and insightful college guide. It's called The Gyne's Guide for College Women and was actually thrown at me by my dad before I left for college. While I would have loved to have had an adult chat with my parents about the freedom and independence of college and so forth, this book truly explains it all and I would highly recommend it. Its contents primarily focus on women's physical and mental health throughout the next four years because college is a wild ride.
01. You Will Take Time to Adjust
It probably didn't take me until after winter break to feel comfortable in my dorm and being away from home for so long. Don't worry about other people who are so independent that they could care less about being away from home and their families. It's different for everyone, so don't feel bad if you need to facetime your dog or call your mom.
02. You Will Be Sad
Sometimes you might just feel really down and have a short crying sesh in the shower. No big deal. You will get through it and you will have better days. Acknowledge it, talk it out, and move on.
03. You Will Get Stressed
You will also have varying amounts of unwanted stress. It's normal. No one told you to go to college and be as cool as a cucumber. It's hard and finding ways to cope with stress and handle it such as working out, meditating, or treating yourself is a great start to relieving the angst.
04. You Will Make Friends & Love Interests
You are probably going to meet your best friends some point in time and you will think the coffee shop barista is really cute. Embrace social moments and get out there! Say hi to that cute barista or just wave at someone in one of your classes you see on the quad. You'll find that you meet your best friends in the oddest of places and times.
05. You Will Make Bad Decisions
You might stay out until 3 am, miss a class or two, you might drink, get a tattoo, you might try illegal substances, but you need to remember how to be responsible and realize that college isn't about wasting your experience and education on dumb mistakes. Everyone messes up and you're gonna pay for it.
06. Your Communication Skills Will Improve
It will be uncomfortable trying to meet new people and get in front of your college seminar, but just like high school, you'll find your ease and talking to people and being upfront will get easier with time.
07. You Will Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
You will probably have to talk and present in front of the class, go to a frat party, stay out really late, deal with a drunk person or two, have to write a 12-page research paper, travel alone, deal with bad roommates, or whatnot. Embrace it and learn from it.
08. Classes Will Be Hard
I wrote a 15-page research paper on Buddhism and Buddhist thought, so at times things will get challenging and it will feel like work builds up. Time management and prioritizing things you need to get done in college is crucial. Don't procrastinate and stay at the library for 12 hours the night before an exam.
09. Classes Will Be Suspiciously Easy
I've even had some classes where there were only two papers due for the entire course. You will have 100 level classes like that and they're usually the most interesting. I had my caveman anthropology class that only had three small papers due, but it was probably the most engaging and interesting one I've taken so far.
10. The Food Will Suck
After the first week, you've already tried everything from every cafeteria kiosk and it starts to get a bit repetitive. Switch things up and try to eat healthy when you can. I know it might feel like you can't get away from cafe food, but treat yourself on the weekend and find a new hotspot in town.
11. You Will Be Broke
If you don't already have a job or a way of constant income, you'll find that your bank account will start to cry. I have picked up many babysitting and nannying jobs on the weekend because I live close to home, but take advantage of your school's career center or Facebook groups to find and pick up extra jobs and extra Uber cash.
12. You Will Be Homesick
You are going to miss your fam and your pets, you'll miss the easy access to food, good showers, a nice bed, and privacy for sure. It's important to bring things that remind you of home to keep you going and motivated to get through the semester. It might seem hard at times, but time really does fly in college. Look at me! I'm already done!
13. You Will Be Confused
You will have moments of utter confusion: assignments might be hard, people might not know how to communicate as well, you might get lost on campus, it's all a learning experience. Don't be afraid to ask for help in desperate times of need.
14. You Will Feel Lonely
Going about your 9am classes, then to yoga, and spending the rest of the night at the library might get to be a bit lonely. You're gonna find that some weeks you'll be really independent and things might just get really busy and you're routine will daze you. Try to find something fun in town or study with a friend. Also, don't worry about being alone in college, finding yourself introspectively is one of the most important parts of it!
15. You Will Have A Great First Year
Your attitude and approach to college will highly affect what you get out of it and make of it. Embrace all moments because it goes by fast. Go at your own pace, meet new people, be open to new perspectives, reach above your comfort zone, apply yourself, and you'll have a great year, just like me!
It's been one heck of a couple weeks and April is gone as I speak. May is so promising and it's that inch closer towards summer. I can finally wear shorts and get my hammock hung to chill out and enjoy this weather that Chicago finally gets to see. I have a lot of goals for this upcoming month and this I really want to accomplish during my last month of freshman year. I still cannot believe how fast this year has gone by.
01. I have been planning on a total blog revamp and would like some tips or ideas on how I can make my blog a bit better. I took this past week off for midterms and have realized that my blogging game is not what it used to be. I think I would like to change my template or the aesthetic of my blog a bit, but that'll be a night of finding inspiration and reconfiguration. I think it'll be a fresh start into the summer.
02. Last time this year it was a month full of events for me: prom, graduation, trips, etc. This month really isn't as packed as it was last year. That said, I need to make more time for myself. I don't know if it is the warmer weather or the spark of the social atmosphere, but I've been feeling very high strung recently and always on edge about things. I'm going to finally start up yoga again and I cannot wait.
03. Since the school year is coming to a close, I would like to start getting back in touch we people I haven't seen in so long. Everyone leaves for college and it's like you cut off all communication with them because you get so busy with your life. Yes, I've kept in touch with some friends, but not as much as I would have liked to.
04. I do want to plan a road trip with some of my best friends this summer because college is the time to explore and go on adventures. I want to make plans, but also not make plans and go with the flow this summer. I have hopes of getting out of my comfort zone, too.
05. I have plans on going to a few more Cubs games this month and possibly this summer. I can always find really cheap tickets and Wrigley Field is literally a stop away from campus. It's always a fun time at Wrigley. I would also like to try and see more bands play around the area. I have been to a comedy club called Annoyance Theater off of Belmont. It's a really fun place to go late at night when you just want to laugh at dumb sketches.
06. I've been really into astrology lately and reading my daily horoscope to see what my day has in store for me. I don't think I believe everything it tells me, but I've been liking this app called Daily Horoscope a lot. It gives you your daily horoscope, weekly and monthly horoscope, sign meaning, compatibility, and more. It's just something fun I like to do when I wake up every morning.
I don't like to be too ambitious with my goals for the month because things change, but I am going to try and stick to these for now. The sun is shining and everybody's mood is uplifted this time of the year. What are your plans this month?
posted in
So, over the past couple of months, I have had this re-evaluation of how I carry myself around and go about relationships, college, and just life in general. I have been so caught up in my anxiety more than ever lately and I am really not having it.
More recently, I have been toying with this word "bold". Meaning fearless, confident, or brave. I've found myself waiting and waiting for other people to make the moves, call the shots, tell me what is and what isn't. My whole childhood was spent asking my mom if I was going to be okay. I just haven't had the mentality to force myself into things as simple as going for what I want and doing what I want with confidence.
It's a silly thing to think about, but I've always been one to over assume or analyze situations or circumstances and that honestly takes out so much wasted energy and causes unwanted stress that I don't even need to be having. I've been fighting with the idea of not having to address my issues and just sit them out, but that usually leads me to even more analysis and agony. If only it was so simple.
There have been times that I've been living in what could be, rather than what it is at that present moment. The thing about my anxiety is that I place myself in hypothetical, "what if," situations that don't even have a place in my scenario, or circumstance, for that matter. The worst thing is when it usually ends up okay and all I have is just another racing heart, beating at someone else's drum.
I start basing my self-worth on what could be or what I think it might be. I start second guessing who I am and what I did. I know this is pretty vague, as I would like to keep some of my private life private, but I'm sure at least one person could relate to this feeling. What I fail to do is be present. I am not paying attention to the present moment for what it is and am just creating something totally arbitrary and irrational. If everything's okay, why worry about it?
I guess it might be my want for answers, truth, or justification that everything is entirely okay. I would say I am a pretty compassionate and sensitive, too, so that stems from my want for black and white information.
I've thought about the way I address situations and to be honest, it hasn't done me any good at all. I need to focus on what I'm doing at that moment and that I am also worthy of myself and my own capabilities. There comes a time to second guess and rethink things, but I'm tired of living by someone else's means.
For anyone who feels the same way as I do, you are worthy of success, a great job, love, happiness, and everything in between. It's noticing first that you are capable of these things and no one else can tell you otherwise. Stop living in assumptions and be here at this moment. Try to be bold.
I've thought about the way I address situations and to be honest, it hasn't done me any good at all. I need to focus on what I'm doing at that moment and that I am also worthy of myself and my own capabilities. There comes a time to second guess and rethink things, but I'm tired of living by someone else's means.
For anyone who feels the same way as I do, you are worthy of success, a great job, love, happiness, and everything in between. It's noticing first that you are capable of these things and no one else can tell you otherwise. Stop living in assumptions and be here at this moment. Try to be bold.
I hope all of you have had relaxing spring breaks and spring holidays. I ate maybe too much candy and ham, but I feel like everyone deserves to treat themselves when they're on break. I've started a new quarter with new classes and I am eager for spring and warmer weather. Sadly, Chicago never gets warm, so I'm wishing on mother nature to bring in some sun. I've realized a few things I want to get done and accomplish this month before the end of school arrives.
01. I've been very lacking on exercising, and I blame that on spring break a bit and my trip, but I am really wanting to get more motivated to go workout and do more than just cardio at the gym. I'm missing out on yoga since I froze my membership, so I am interested in trying out some different fitness classes and have to push myself to go this month.
02. I'm excited about my new classes this quarter, I'm taking a Buddhism class and a caveman class! When do you get to do those? I have been really interested in all things Buddha like yoga, so I am excited to learn more about the religion since it is a requirement for my degree. And also, cavemen? Neanderthals? My freshman focal point is also a requirement for graduation and I just happened to choose it. I've always been curious about evolution and anthropology; this class will definitely be engaging every session.
03. My goal this month is to also visit more family and see people that I need and want to see. I would say that I make it a priority even if I'm the only one traveling to see people that I care about and spend a lot of time with them. I just had some family friends over this past weekend and I missed them so much. Now that I can travel alone, there's no big reason for me not to besides financial things and school.
04. Now that I am more comfortable at college, I have realized that I am really strict with myself sometimes and I don't say yes to things much. Not bad things, but I never stay at school on the weekends enough to develop more connections or relationships because I work when I go home sometimes. I need to let loose sometimes (without losing my dignity or integrity at that). I just need to go with the flow more and be more spontaneous—what I learned from my recent trip to Miami.
05. This month I also want to not worry so much about what other people are doing. I know it's kind of cliche or very written about, but lately, I have been looking for places to live next year, worrying about not having a roommate, doing internships, studying abroad, and working. There's been too much on my mind about the future as school comes to an end, and I can't believe it. I have to gear my focus back to my work and what I am currently doing.
I know these are only a few things that I may have stressed in the past, but I want the start of spring to be relaxed and not as high strung as winter was. I think this will be my only post for this week to refreshen my inspiration and my overall mood at the beginning of this last quarter. What things do you do to refresh your mind?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons