Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
The one thing inherently stable in my life at the moment is my love of organizing. If there's anything I can control and manipulate in this current moment, it's the four corners of my bedroom. As a kid, I was always in love with feng shui and the power of transforming a space that fits your comfort, creativity, and mentality. I have always loved interior design. It's a hobby of mine that I haven't quite been able to pursue, but within my personal space, I have found that there's power in the ability to create a space that fills you with joy. Scratch that. "Sparks joy".
However, I've also noticed that this sense of control over my surroundings has become toxic at times. When something isn't quite right within my space, I tend to dwell on it: clean it, reorganize, or move things around at a ridiculous rate. My mom will ask me, "didn't you just vacuum?". And while those are probably words that every mom would prefer saying to their child, I have found myself rearranging or cleaning things just to cope with whatever is happening in my head or things I want to avoid. It's a blessing and a curse really.
So, I've come to terms with my love of organizing and catering the space to my needs. I love the way my room looks and how I've been able to express myself within it. It has truly become a place of solace over the years, and while I do not plan on living in my parents house in the future, this is where I am in my life and so I feel it is best to reassess how this room—this space—has molded the person I am today.
Whether it be the mindfully stacked books on my shelf, the color coded closet, my mini botanical window sill, or the perfect trio of pillows on my bed. It all serves a purpose. I know that not many people think twice about what shade of blanket they have on their bed or what white space is filled perfectly on their wall, but to me it signifies balance, cohesiveness, creativity, and well—me.
Perhaps creating an aesthetically pleasing room is just a facade, but to me it represents so much more. It's my safe space, my happy place, and where I can cope with everything else that needs to be organized in my head. Having a type-A personality has allowed me to feel structured, but at times, I am in need of that release from perfection, from clean lines, and from comfort.
I guess that's what being stuck in a room for over a year does to you. There are things we have to let be and we can't control everything. But if it means living in a space that I love and where I can find some sort of control—well, I'll just be here re-organizing my bookshelf.
It's Sunday, I'm in bed all snuggled up, I just drank a harvest tea blend from Trader Joe's, and all is good in the world—or is it? I often look forward to cozy Sunday nights, but lately I've succumbed to the doom of Monday and my to-do list gets the best of me. What I've been referring to is this sudden sense of overwhelm, anxiety, and restlessness over what the week may bring, or the "Sunday scaries" as my family calls it. Even when I've accomplished all on my to-do list, I always find myself anxious to start a new week.
I haven't tackled this feeling or have found ways to relieve it as much, but I definitely have noticed why I might be feeling this way and things I can do to change my mindset before a new sunrise. To start, I needed to figure out what may be causing these negative thought bubbles before Monday. I think it has to do with all of the pre-existing stress I might have had that week, things I read or saw on the news, our current state of the world, or just interactions I had that day. If there's anything my conscious is telling me, it's that I need to let that sh*t go.
When I started realizing that I needed to re-evaluate my stress and negative thoughts as a passing-by, or little bumps in the road, they became things I could take control of. This season is the reason for letting things go, and as hard and intimidating as it may be to try, it's not worth dwelling over. The fear of what's to come consumes us so much that we forget what is possible during the present moment.
But enough about presence, I feel like I talk so much about it, but it's really me who needs a presence check. Sundays are usually spent out to brunch, going apple picking, going to church if that suits you, or relaxing and reading that book that's sat on your nightstand all week. There are things that don't have to be done right this instant, you are not made of iron, and you definitely need to take your foot off the gas a bit and let things be.
For those who anticipate the emails they're going to receive, dread over their full planner, or who just can't deal with getting up and starting a new work week, I feel you. It's not easy, but we have to push through day by day, as my dad always tells me. You only know what's happening now, so why dwell on tomorrow when you can make the most of every day you get? At least, I keep telling myself that.
Turn your back on the Sunday scaries and start filling your days with little joys, indulgences, and by pacing yourself because you got this—and I'm right here with you.
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We spend a majority of our time relying on other people's time. Making plans, setting dates, marking our calendars, creating group chats, booking trips, planning late night Sunday Zoom calls, and carving parts of our lives so that it molds with others. Life wouldn't be sweet if we didn't plan our winter break family reunions or uphold our Sunday brunch traditions. Everything revolves around time. Since we've all spent time staying at home and finding ways to cope from our bedrooms, I've come to re-evaluate the way that I let other people's time dictate whether or not I'm happy.
Seize the Day...
What I've come to realize, during my withdrawal of social events and special group outings, is that I did a lot of waiting around for people. Waiting for them to text me, make plans, confirm they're available, make a decision on where to get take out, and the like. It's been a bit freeing knowing that I can lay out the plan for the day on my own time and make the most of the day on my own terms.
I've dealt with people who don't follow through, who keep me waiting, who cancel late last minute, while I'm twiddling my fingers. You can't live your life with that BS! Do what you want and you will feel more fulfilled, motivated, and mentally sound knowing that you don't have to wait on other people to make plans with you.
Be Mindful of Your Power
For someone like me who lives with order in their lives and fancies structured plans, I've learned to let go of the control and pressure of knowing that other people are more deserving of my time. It's ultimately up to me to decide how I want to spend it.
I want to disclaim that making plans with people is great and you should never feel guilty giving people the time if you mindfully do so. However, don't give into guilt trips, or people who pressure you into doing things because you'll "regret" it later. Trust your word and don't let other people dictate your time or self-worth because you "just don't feel like it". No one needs an explanation for why your time is just as valuable.
Establish Personal Boundaries
Sometimes I find myself complaining about the things I have to do, but more recently, I've become susceptible to being around people who complain more about what they have to do and why it should matter to me. Sometimes it's not your responsibility to reckon with other people's goals, plans, or conflicts—just stay out of it and keep in your own lane.
We get blindsided by the amount of comparing that we do and most of the time, we don't even know we're doing it. We compare our personal, financial, and professional goals with other people so much that we are dumbfounded by rejection and stoop down to others just so we can doubt our own potential and move on with our lives. Time is precious, so why dwell on other things we can't control?
The truth of it all is that we invest our time in people, so much so, that it consumes our daily lives. Who we work for, who we eat with, who we live with, who we exercise with, and so forth. A simple way of not falling accustomed to letting other people take your time, energy, and power away is to realize that your time is valuable and no one should take advantage of it. Become the driver of your life. Hone your potential, inspired motivation, and start seizing back the control of your life on your own time.
Like writing a song or a poem, I struggle to find the right words to describe the love I'm given. And if you're wondering, no I have not listened to Folklore. They say (whoever they may be) that by your late twenties or early thirties you should have found your "true match" or what ever you hope that means. But that's not the love I'm talking about. I'm talking about the unspoken, annoying, and unconditional type of love. Love we salvage for ourselves and love we ration for others.
I'm not a love expert, and usually hate the four letter word for its ambiguity, but people are driven by it. People are in this world because of it.
Throughout my life I have done a great deal to not take for granted the amount of love I've been given. Friends, family, and the people I meet all have different stories to tell. I can only find myself gracious and humble, knowing that this great life is made a little bit easier by it. How selfish could I be not to accept it? Not to acknowledge it? Or to even suppress it?
. . .
Even in a sky full of grey, we bloom
. . .
I take note of the people I meet: the things they say, the things they do, the things they don't do, and have never been the type of person to just walk away from a boring conversation because I know that everyone has something to give. I do realize though, that there are those specific few people who do not deserve the love I give. One of the truest and most unfortunate realities of life.
We imagine the type of life we want to live, cutting out the pieces and putting them together to form this perfect big picture. This picture perfect love story. And I've realized, I'm not living a love story—I'm living my story and I'm going to write it.
Sometimes we need to ease up on love. We give it a bad rap. We expect so much from it and from people. We find ourselves blind to what forms it manifests. I've even taken the love language quiz and you should, too. I'm not sure how much this quiz is backed up by science, if any, but it has definitely got me thinking. Our actions reflect our feelings and emotions, so much so, that my two tied love languages are "acts of service" and "words of affirmation". To put it lightly, my vacuuming the house, reorganizing the linen closet, creating a garden for my mom, or developing a blog for my 92 year-old grandfather are some examples of random acts of "service" to name a few. It could be my maternal instincts, obsessive cleaning behavior, or just the satisfaction of knowing I did something for someone else to make their lives a bit easier.
However, "words of affirmation" are quite the contrary to acts of service, because sometimes actions don't speak louder than words. It's ironic because as a writer, I am so in tune with language and written sentiments that I often find them more endearing than just a hug or a gift at all. I'll be honest, I like hearing or reading the encouragement, the reasoning behind the affection, and maybe it's because I like having the proof? Not that I ever go looking for it, but I feel like a lot of people give the type of love that is confusing, undefined, and at times discouraging. No more guessing games—just say it.
I found love, and I was never able to really see it or accept the way I was given it. I kept worrying and counting my life on one type of love, finding that one person to get it from, but it's all around me. Finding those tiny blips of joy, laughter, conversation, and connection with a person are closer than you think. Don't be afraid to write your own love story and wait for the love you rightfully deserve.
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Every time someone asks me, "Natalie, what do you want to do when you grow up?". Most times I would muster something along the lines of public relations, communications, content creation, but above all else—creative. A percentage of the time I might say something like an environmental conservation PR person, in hopes of one day escaping to the mountains, breathing fresh air, and doing social media for the National Park Service. In reality, I imagine myself working downtown Chicago, as my roots have brought me up here and it would be stupid not to. I mean Chicago is the epicenter of creativity.
In all things I do, I find myself inspired. Less recently, though, it has been hard for me to find creative freedom in what has been a rather challenging and uncertain time period. Our world is going through a lot, and it was time for me to reflect on the things that mattered most. Whether I was comfortable with it or not. You see, creativity does not always come easy. There are many factors that play into these ground-breaking ideas. Great artists didn't just escape onto a yacht in the Mediterranean and say "Here is where I make art". Many of them suffered through current turmoils and strifes—pandemics, even. I'm no Bill Nye of the creative mind, but to put it in perspective; great ideas don't always come easy. When or how we want them to.
. . .
Sometimes creativity comes from nothing (and I wholeheartedly sneer at those who can constantly come up with stuff), and other times it comes from your 8 a.m. iced chai tea latte and that's just your luck. After five years of writing, creating, and developing this blog, I am constantly in a struggle with my own creative agency. Many of my ideas were just sub-par articles of what Google could already tell you. What products you already knew you needed to buy, what ideas were already valid, that golden retrievers are cute, and so on. However, I took ahold of my creative agency, because I knew that my ideas would come if I was patient. I did not dig up some article ideas (although I will be held guilty for those late night Pinterest researches) and I was not happy with what I was writing until it just flowed right off my fingertips.
Being confident with your own creative agency is like creating a dinosaur diorama in fifth grade. We were SO proud of them. The amount of hours spent on the basement floor, hot glueing, cutting cardboard, and making sure your little sister wouldn't play with your Little Tikes dinosaurs that were secured to little plastic ferns you found from your Thomas the Train set. You were ready to show everyone what you worked tirelessly on. Even though we knew that Samantha had the name brand crayons and sequins to win the ribbon and a round of free mini golf. That diorama has, to this day, sat in your basement game cupboard. You will never throw it out because you want your kids to bask in its glory.
I might have gotten a little carried away with dioramas, and there may or may not be one sitting proudly in a closet, but the point is, being confident with your own creative agency comes with its rewards—even if you mess up, fail, or lose the ribbon to Samantha. There's a time and a place, and your time will come.
I live and breathe creativity when it comes to public relations and advertising. Sometimes so much that I can't take it anymore. I need to read someone else's creative ideas, immerse myself on current news, watch commercials, get lost in a book, run outside rather than on my dad's old treadmill, or play somebody else's playlist for a change. Being creative sucks, I get it. Constantly trying to be inspired—to know what the right thing to say, create, draw, or compose is—can suck the living right out of your soul. With all of the late night scribbling in my head, I knew I needed to do one thing to solve my creative road block:
And it was nothing.
In the creative world, everything is fast moving. One idea after the other, and they're not always great ideas. What I've learned is that it's okay to doubt your ideas, to doubt your abilities, and it's definitely okay to stop. There's a lot going on, in the universe and in our minds, and sometimes the best remedy for our creative consciences is to just...pause.
A pause to reset. To realign and reflect has been helpful for me to focus on my 1) mental health, 2) accepting my creative flaws, 3) and to focus on being comfortable with the uncomfortable. In terms of having the time to pause and rationalize with my own inner dealings, but also the fact that these past few months have felt like a never ending social media binge and I knew I had to cut myself off for a bit for the sake of keeping me sane and grounded in the things I love the most.
Here's a little update as to what I've been up to during this pause...
01. Reading. Reading, reading, reading. Articles, news, too much news, and books. My normal summer activity is to fill the last two hours of the day snuggled up reading. I read a lot and take in a lot of information, partly because of what is happening in our world, but also because I have come to realize that it's a pretty nice escape.
Reading has been my most inspiring hobby and I kick myself for not getting into reading sooner. My town has these Little Free Libraries, or these little library mailboxes. Our library is closed, so I've been venturing out and finding random book selections all over. I just finished reading In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware. It's a page turning thriller and the best book to read before bed...if you dare.
02. Running. I've always hated running, but the stiff air inside has kept me long enough from running on the treadmill downstairs to creating short little routes around our neighborhood. I like the open air, sometimes running without destination, and just having space and a time to think. There's much solitude in running, so it has been a pleasant heart rate lifter and break from being inside all day.
03. My creative internship with FCB Chicago just kicked off this week! I know it's not much of a pause, but it is a great start to something that will engage and spur my creativity throughout the rest of the summer. My first week of orientation felt somewhat like virtual summer camp. I also learned that FCB Chicago was the founder of orange juice, so the more you know! I am thrilled to continue this internship and learn from some driven industry professionals who work on some very distinguished clients like Coca-Cola, Levi's, and Canon. Although it is an advertising position, I will be able to listen and learn to creators and innovators alike. I'm very grateful to have this experience and get to meet some inspiring people in the process.
. . .
I know having time to think can seem intimidating, even a few days of not creating or being productive can feel like I'm at a stand still and I'm left unmotivated. However, I've learned that taking necessary breaks—even when you don't expect them or think they're needed—can remedy a feeling of distrust with our own creative conscience. This world seems to go a little bit too fast. It can be all talk with not much space to listen and learn. Slow it down and trust yourself. Your ideas will be heard.
It's been a few months since the beginning of stay-at-home orders and Chicago is extended until the beginning of June, but there is still not much promise for what's to come this summer. To the amount of areas already opening up, I can feel that people are beginning to become more complacent with the order, but might not realize the severity of returning to our "normal habits" quite yet. However, I think a lot of people are still doing things to cope with the uncertainty and are trying to distract themselves with things they necessarily didn't have time for. We've started gardening, trying new bread recipes, or playing Animal Crossing from dawn to dusk and I have realized that we've lost a fundamental piece of what life should be about—happiness.
Over the past couple of months, I've really come to terms with what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Maybe it's because I'm a bit existential, although I'm sure a lot more people are feeling the same way. I've been reflecting on the reasons I chose the path I chose: emotionally, in school, in my social life, or for my career goals. It seems as if everything has paused, but at the same time, going at lightening speed. To avoid feeling this weight of overwhelm and a bit of confusion, I've been monitoring my happy habits and all of the things that make me feel good. I think the one thing that we can do is take everyday with upmost positivity, even if it seems so hard to roll out of bed each morning.
Give Yourself Time...
There are high hopes that everything might even itself out and we might eventually go back to "normal," but with the time being, there's nothing promised, every day seems like the same, and I understand that the whole wake up, eat breakfast, get to work, exercise, and do it all over again is not the normal for everybody.
Setting an alarm has been my saving grace, even if it's one to three alarms that I need to actually get me going. Find a way to make yourself get out of bed because you and I both know that we would sleep in every day if we could. I have fallen in the routine of waking up, checking my phone, scrolling through unimportant articles and emails, and being later than I expected with no time to get the day started. So, whether that be making a cup of coffee, making your bed, or brushing your teeth, get up and get your day started! You will feel more motivated to get things done.
Do One Thing for Yourself Everyday...
My focus lately has been set mainly on electronics: getting work done, answering emails, making to-do lists, watching lectures, or hosting Zoom calls. I live a pretty busy, but mundane life throughout the week and I'm always trying to tackle assignments and to-do lists ahead of time, but that leaves me drained and unmotivated to keep going. Sometimes uninspired, I find that retreating to a playlist, my Reese Witherspoon Hello Sunshine book, a little puppy play time, or doing my nails allows me to reset and recharge. When I feel the most overwhelmed, I find that escaping for a bit does the trick.
Stay on Top of Things...
I am all about getting on top of my work ahead of time as a little "thank you to my future self". I know that working one thing at a time is usually the best way to put full focus into things. If I can set myself up for success and not create a pile of things to get done during the week, I'll focus on big assignments over the weekend and feel better set knowing that I got a start on it ahead of time. Forward planning has been one of my most well-known traits because I like structure and planning out manageable tasks.
Working from home can feel stifling, a bit claustrophobic, and one thing is for sure, I always keep my windows open. Air filtration is key and even better being outside and staying active has helped me balance daily tasks. Daily dog walking, reading outside, or backyard tanning has given me a sufficient amount of vitamin D, but sometimes I wish we lived near nature preserves and more scenic areas. Finding a time to get a breath of fresh air and some sunlight make me feel less like a hermit crab.
Mind Your Thoughts...
Sometimes I wake up with a really bad mood. I mean we all have moods, and lately I've been kicking myself for feeling bad mentally because there are so many other things I could be putting my energy towards than negative thought bubbles. Even if I just manipulate my thoughts in a way that makes things more positive, for example, telling myself I got enough sleep, or saying one thing I love about myself, or simply shutting off my phone puts it in perspective. Making daily tasks more like fun opportunities or looking forward to that night's online yoga session has changed the way I think for the better.
Stay in Touch...
I've read this before, but this time is crucial for checking in with loved ones and those you have not talked to in awhile. There's no excuse not to meet for coffee or go on that brunch you previously planned. My best friends and I have made time to chat and catch up, which has been the most refreshing and socially exciting. Even rekindling friendships with motivational messages goes a long way and it makes my heart warm to know that I have someone else to confide in. Even if it means finding a mentor or meeting up with someone from an online class over Zoom, having some human interaction other than your family can keep you from feeling isolated.
I came to realize that all of these habits have just become daily parts of my routine now and I think they are all pretty manageable. Finding one happy habit a day and sticking to it will help you with your daily goals and relieve some of the stress that come with them. What are some things you like to stay on top of?
Check-ins are probably the most important thing keeping me sane right now: family check-ins, mental check-ins, physical check-ins...it's already May and it feels like the beginning of quarantine was forever ago. I have to say keeping a routine has not been very difficult for me lately, probably because it's the one thing that is normal for me. Waking up at an early hour, beginning work, giving myself breaks, and rewarding myself at the end of the day with me-time.
Everyone has their own definition of "self-care," and I think it's important to realize that my version of it is not anyone else's. Sleeping in and choosing not to overload yourself with work is self-care. So is taking a bath, putting on a face mask, or tuning out and listening to a podcast. I think self-care for me has really come down to what I feel most inspired to be doing, whether it be reading or re-reading one of my favorite books.
Lately I have revisited Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, a great way to refresh and reorganize your spaces during this time. I have also been following Reese Witherspoon's Hello Sunshine bookclub, I am currently reading Conviction by Denise Mina. It's a great murder mystery that takes place on a yacht in France and will have you turning the pages!
I have been trying to stay active as much as possible. Whether it be walking the dog, running on the treadmill, or doing some Corepower: Yoga On Demand. There have been many times where I felt unmotivated to exercise, so I just wouldn't. I think it's good to know when you need balance and not feel pressured to workout when you're at home. Corepower also offers some nice meditation videos and I know there are many free ones on YouTube, as well.
Gardening has also been something new I tried—haven't completely failed—but, it has definitely tested me and I think that's because I was so eager to start planting a ton of plants that I never realized that Chicago still becomes winter late at night in the spring. So, all I have to say is that my cilantro is doing great, but my sunflowers will have to make a dire comeback.
Lately I have revisited Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, a great way to refresh and reorganize your spaces during this time. I have also been following Reese Witherspoon's Hello Sunshine bookclub, I am currently reading Conviction by Denise Mina. It's a great murder mystery that takes place on a yacht in France and will have you turning the pages!
I have been trying to stay active as much as possible. Whether it be walking the dog, running on the treadmill, or doing some Corepower: Yoga On Demand. There have been many times where I felt unmotivated to exercise, so I just wouldn't. I think it's good to know when you need balance and not feel pressured to workout when you're at home. Corepower also offers some nice meditation videos and I know there are many free ones on YouTube, as well.
Gardening has also been something new I tried—haven't completely failed—but, it has definitely tested me and I think that's because I was so eager to start planting a ton of plants that I never realized that Chicago still becomes winter late at night in the spring. So, all I have to say is that my cilantro is doing great, but my sunflowers will have to make a dire comeback.
Cooper has definitely been thriving with all of the attention and extra play. If there's anyone that has benefited from us staying home, it's him. Funny enough, his main form of entertainment has been bubbles. Emily and I will stand out in the yard and he could jump and catch bubbles all day long. There's something so wholesome about finding joy in the little things.
Self care is crucial at a time like this and it doesn't have to look like whatever spa days and pamper sessions people post online. It could simply be sitting outside and taking in the sunshine. How have you been coping lately?
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Hi. Hello. I'm back! It's been about a month since I've written a blog post as there have been some pretty big and troubling circumstances going on. It has taken me a while to get back on my blogging feet, so now is the time for me to finally update you all.
These past few weeks have been challenging to say the least, being a college student especially, transitioning all of my classes, job, and extra curricular activities online. Sadly, I know that a lot of other people have lost their jobs, reverted to homeschooling their children, or even work on the frontlines. I am so very grateful and extend my love for the countless number of healthcare workers, emergency services, truck drivers, farmers, essential businesses, teachers, and those who have to sacrifice it all in order to make our country safe.
I have the tendency to believe that a lot of things in life are a constant waiting game. We are always after something in the future, a proposed goal or ambition, and we are counting down the days until we get there. I know I get very psycho-analytical on my blog—a bit deep at times—and am in no way an expert on our human-like tendencies, but just from what I know and feel, there's something about this waiting "game" that has resonated with my current situation so much.
Whether it be sending out pitch emails, applying for an internship, or even ordering cupcakes at 10 o'clock at night, I feel like there's always something to be wanted, awarded, or desired and we are just too insistent on getting that cupcake ASAP.
My amateur knowledge of psychology and what I have learned about delayed gratification is that an individual resists the temptation of immediacy and the "I want it now!" Veruca Salt mentality. The selfish greed in all of us wanting to know the unknown, I mean everyone hates not knowing, right? I've had many instances where I've found patience a virtue and I'd like to say that I have become a pretty patient person, but sometimes that patience turns into obsession and, as a result, inexhaustible self-doubt.
I think many could agree that life is just a waiting game. We are all going after our ambitions, applying ourselves, testing the waters, taking our shot, in hopes of finding something bigger and better—and something as delicious as a 10 o'clock red velvet cupcake. At times, I've found myself dreading over exam grades, scholarships, and getting accepted into my number one college. It made me the most persistently annoying human being during high school because my future, as I believed, was determined by this one "congratulations" email I so desperately yearned for my entire senior year, only to find out I got a scholarship a week after my graduation of high school.
I have the tendency to resort to self-doubt, and therefore lose all the agency I had when I applied myself to these things in the first place; whether it be an internship, job, or study abroad program. It's so easy for us to give something our all and then when we don't get a response within a week, we slowly start to chip away at the fine marble that is our ambition, our passion, and everything we worked ourselves up to be.
There is truth to the delay of the reward, and that is not only a huge feeling of relief but also a sense of greater significance. We seem to forget how much work we put into these things when the suspension isn't built or we don't recognize this sensation of gratitude that should arise from it.
I've grown an appreciation for these opportunities to reflect, and as I wonder where these opportunities will take me, I find myself more present and focused on what I'm currently doing, rather than dwelling on whether or not I'm going to make it in the end. I'm more in tune with my passions this way, and to cultivate a sense of gratitude for these aspirations that await for us, who knows what could happen, so why wait?
I just find life so much more bearable when we commit fully to the things we aspire to most and move on from wondering for a second why we might not be capable of achieving these things. Whether you find out tomorrow, next week, or a month from now, that cupcake is going to taste so good later knowing you were right where you needed to be.
My month ahead...
A rather long January has finally come to an end, as much as I love wishing my life away, I'm pretty excited that we are one step closer to lighter mornings and brighter days. In a recent yoga class I took, my instructor's mantra for us was, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom," at this point in my life it was something that really resonated with me.
I'm almost halfway done with my junior year of college and all I can think about are the unmade plans for the future and the anxiety that lurks not knowing exactly what might happen a month or even a year from now. There's something true about growth, and it's that we have to trust the process, our ability, and our strength to get to where we want to be. February is action-packed for me this year, and while January treated me off to a smooth start, I thought I'd fill you in...
01. I have been trying to sort out some travel plans for spring break, I know a lot of people go to Florida, the Bahamas, etc. but, I've always loved the idea of taking spontaneous trips to areas of the U.S. that I have yet explored and aren't the most ideal spring break hot spots. Oregon, for example, is a destination I have in mind and I am all for a mountain escape and a breath of fresh ocean air. I've always wanted to explore Portland, but also the western coast, so hopefully, I can make a trip happen this year and see some family that lives out there, too.
02. The summer internship search is on! Now that I've finished my first public relations internship with Papergirl PR and Marketing in December, I've been jumping at opportunities whenever and wherever. There's so much pressure, at least at DePaul, in order to find an internship and I have to say I am one with the process on this one.
I've sent out my resumé and have already had some interviews, but I know I need to be true to myself in what I'm looking for exactly—definitely paid, but a creative role is ideal. So we'll see what happens and I am more than confident that I will come to find an agency that I love.
I've sent out my resumé and have already had some interviews, but I know I need to be true to myself in what I'm looking for exactly—definitely paid, but a creative role is ideal. So we'll see what happens and I am more than confident that I will come to find an agency that I love.
We have been conducting research and pitching our campaign, Love Where You Count, since the beginning of September in order to connect the things people love with the importance of participating in crucial decision making in federal funds nationwide.
It's been stressful, to say the least, but by the end of February, we should have fully executed our campaign and will submit it to the national judges.
Never did I think that in college I would be working with the government, so it's quite cool to be gaining this hands-on experience and opportunity of a lifetime. I will for sure update you all once the manic and excitement of February that is to come has died down.
Never did I think that in college I would be working with the government, so it's quite cool to be gaining this hands-on experience and opportunity of a lifetime. I will for sure update you all once the manic and excitement of February that is to come has died down.
04. After five years of writing on my blog, I've finally bought a domain name for it. For some reason, I was so reluctant to own natalierohman.com, but one of my really close blogger-boss ladies told me it's about time that I should. Lately, I've been giving myself more time to write and be creative on my own terms, so expect more juicy content to come!
I've been thinking about sharing my tutoring experience so far, as well. I started tutoring at DePaul's writing center in September and have been promoted to the Writing Fellow position where we work simultaneously with a specific class, which is about the psychoanalysis of fairy tales—who knew Beauty and the Beast had so many complexities?
That looks like all I have for February, but I am really looking forward to a fresh month and even more exciting opportunities to come. While uncertain now, I have trust in the process and in the journey that it will take for me to get there. What's on the radar for you next month?
New Year, New Manifestations
As the new year falls upon us, and we're wishing it was still Christmas, snuggled up in bed, the reality of work and routine dwells and consumes our schedule—whether we want it to or not. This time of year has its cheerful highs: seeing old friends, eating beyond belief, late-night Hallmark binges, going to the movie theater (three times consecutively in a week) and being able to recharge with the joys of consumerism and homemade meals. What's more to love?
I am lucky enough to have six weeks off for winter break, yes I know, it's a crazy amount of time off and it is one of the bittersweet perks I get for being at a trimester school. Now that it's my second day back, I am in awe at how fast time can fly when you're doing absolutely nothing. You get a sudden surge of guilt and a feeling of unproductivity as the weeks go by. However, I took it upon myself to give myself a break and enjoy relaxing, I really needed it. Sometimes the flip of a calendar can really relieve the weight of a not-so-cheery time.
I haven't expressed much on my blog, but this past quarter of school was one of the most mentally challenging and emotionally draining. My motivation and attitude towards my goals were slim, and I kept pushing through but realized it became a lot harder this year once I put more on my plate—an imperfect balance. I was a workaholic and it began to deter my mental health more than I thought. The past is in the past, and I've come to learn through these challenges that I need to move forward with a more positive outlook on my days and doing things I love and that truly fulfill my needs and make my heart full. With this, I'm turning over a new leaf.
This might have just sounded really good in my head and is probably really stupid to read aloud. Rather than coming up with "resolutions," which we all hate, dread, and never follow through on as they're cultural expectations and just bonafide bullshit that we chain ourselves down to because we need to society makes us think that we need to "fix" ourselves. I say NO.
"Manifestation" popped into my head, probably during a shameless episode of Law and Order: SVU, and quickly I Google searched it to be, "an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something, especially a theory or an abstract idea". Now I don't know about you, but why isn't it "New Year's Resolution" and not "New Year's Manifestation"? I'd like to think that eating less sugar in 2020 embodies the weightloss theory to some extent, or perhaps actually waking up on time will encourage the likelihood of increased productivity?
Well, for my own sanity, I thought it would be a good idea to list out twenty things I would like to "embody" in 2020 and not things that will hold me to a brick wall. These are the things I would like to manifest and acknowledge throughout the year because I do believe things will change for the better and I do believe in new beginnings. However, I will not hold myself to these, in fact, I can completely disregard them. These are just ideas, proposed goals, and ways in which I would like to see myself grow.
01. I would like to manifest positive thinking on situations in my life and knowing there are just "Manifestation" popped into my head, probably during a shameless episode of Law and Order: SVU, and quickly I Google searched it to be, "an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something, especially a theory or an abstract idea". Now I don't know about you, but why isn't it "New Year's Resolution" and not "New Year's Manifestation"? I'd like to think that eating less sugar in 2020 embodies the weightloss theory to some extent, or perhaps actually waking up on time will encourage the likelihood of increased productivity?
Well, for my own sanity, I thought it would be a good idea to list out twenty things I would like to "embody" in 2020 and not things that will hold me to a brick wall. These are the things I would like to manifest and acknowledge throughout the year because I do believe things will change for the better and I do believe in new beginnings. However, I will not hold myself to these, in fact, I can completely disregard them. These are just ideas, proposed goals, and ways in which I would like to see myself grow.
things I cannot control.
02. I would like to manifest the ability to let go of the little things that will not be relevant or beneficial to my overall well-being.
03. I would like to manifest healthy relationships with people who reciprocate the same love and care I have for them.
04. I would like to manifest the courage to block out negativity throughout my online and social media habits—or completely change the way I use my time on it.
05. I would like to manifest more time for the things I love doing like being creative: writing, photography, painting, and reading.
06. I would like to manifest strength to power through yoga classes and new experiences that surpass my physical abilities because I know my body is capable of much more than my mind says so.
07. I would like to manifest the self-control to wake up at a given time in the morning, but let myself sleep in when I need to.
08. I would like to manifest the willpower to turn off my work-mode and find joy in simply being present in conversation with those around me.
09. I would like to manifest the ability to not open the pantry at midnight just because Hot Cheetos sound amazing.
10. I would like to manifest a conscience that won't allow me to obsess over messes—physical and mental.
11. I would like to manifest the mind, body, and soul of Reese Witherspoon.
12. I would like to manifest kindness in all and of all.
13. I would like to manifest the patience to sit on the CTA for an extra thirty minutes to ensure my safety and sanity are in check.
14. I would like to manifest more time to appreciate and less time to long for something better.
15. I would like to manifest happiness in the little joys of each and every day.
16. I would like to manifest more laughter.
17. I would like to manifest a free spirit that allows me to simply dance it out to ABBA when I need to.
18. I would like to manifest the same passion I've always had for writing and the work I truly love.
19. I would like to manifest balance in my consumer habits and spend more on experiences.
20. I would like to manifest the ability to not hold myself against, shame, or doubt these manifestations because I am allowed to change my mind, start anew, scream, and forgive myself.
But, most of all, I manifest self-love.
It's September!! And if you don't know what that means, it means its ihavetoomuchtodoandnotimetodoit season! Also known as, Virgo season! Which, I am a Leo-Virgo cusp and this time of year means chaos for me. All chaos aside, I've actually had quite the summer and was anticipating fall to roll around sometime soon. Everyone's back into their routines, or at least trying to cope with their routines, and I have just completed my first week of my junior year of college. Yay.
It can be overwhelming when the to-do lists, responsibilities, deadlines, assignments, projects, and every other stressful thing possible lands on your plate all at once. If there's one week I hate, it's syllabus week. When your professors hand you a packet of every single test and paper due in the next ten weeks of your life.
This weekend I needed to ground myself: I did some yoga, ran some errands, walked my pup, babysat, and tackled what now is an entirely full planner of commitments and things I don't want to do. So I took a step back and thought about ways in which I can make this overhaul of chaos better. Much better.
Make Your Schedule
It always helps me when I can visually see all of the tasks I need completed by a certain date and time. Choose what works best for you. I like to use a planner and highlight all of my classes, along with meetings and clubs, and other commitments in different colors. I also utilize a weekly desk calendar that only shows what I need to do that week. Even using sticky notes on your computer works!
Engage, Then Disengage
I am a victim of doing other things when I should be doing something else. Especially when I should be relaxing and I try to take advantage of my relaxing time for more work time. I understand time crunches and totally stand by that, but when you need a break, take it. Even if that means dedicating an hour to going to the gym, watching a movie, or getting your nails done.
Remember Priorities
Taking time for yourself is a priority. You have to remember that you will be working for basically your entire life and balance is key! Do what needs to be done, but don't push yourself if it's feeling like you can't handle so much at once. People are there to support you and want to see you succeed, sometimes that means taking your foot off the gas pedal.
Make Time You Need to Relax
Everyone says that "there's not enough time" for anything, but that's usually because they don't make the time to do something. "There's not enough time to relax," "I can't fit yoga classes into my schedule," or "I'm just too busy to get some time for myself," are some things I often hear. One thing to consider is your sleep-wake cycle. Are you getting enough sleep? What time do you normally go to bed? Could this be effecting your energy levels? Sleep is something to consider when you're staying up until 2am trying to finish work for Monday.
These are all things to consider that might help alleviate stress, anxiety, and a feeling of overwhelm as the new season transitions into a busy one. Balance is something I cannot stress enough. Divide up your day so that you have breaks and time to re-adjust and reset. What do you do to not overwhelm your busy ass life?
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