1.07.2020

My 20 Manifestations for 2020

New Year, New Manifestations

As the new year falls upon us, and we're wishing it was still Christmas, snuggled up in bed, the reality of work and routine dwells and consumes our schedule—whether we want it to or not. This time of year has its cheerful highs: seeing old friends, eating beyond belief, late-night Hallmark binges, going to the movie theater (three times consecutively in a week) and being able to recharge with the joys of consumerism and homemade meals. What's more to love? 

I am lucky enough to have six weeks off for winter break, yes I know, it's a crazy amount of time off and it is one of the bittersweet perks I get for being at a trimester school. Now that it's my second day back, I am in awe at how fast time can fly when you're doing absolutely nothing. You get a sudden surge of guilt and a feeling of unproductivity as the weeks go by. However, I took it upon myself to give myself a break and enjoy relaxing, I really needed it. Sometimes the flip of a calendar can really relieve the weight of a not-so-cheery time. 

I haven't expressed much on my blog, but this past quarter of school was one of the most mentally challenging and emotionally draining. My motivation and attitude towards my goals were slim, and I kept pushing through but realized it became a lot harder this year once I put more on my plate—an imperfect balance. I was a workaholic and it began to deter my mental health more than I thought. The past is in the past, and I've come to learn through these challenges that I need to move forward with a more positive outlook on my days and doing things I love and that truly fulfill my needs and make my heart full. With this, I'm turning over a new leaf.
This might have just sounded really good in my head and is probably really stupid to read aloud. Rather than coming up with "resolutions," which we all hate, dread, and never follow through on as they're cultural expectations and just bonafide bullshit that we chain ourselves down to because we need to society makes us think that we need to "fix" ourselves. I say NO.

"Manifestation" popped into my head, probably during a shameless episode of Law and Order: SVU, and quickly I Google searched it to be, "an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something, especially a theory or an abstract idea". Now I don't know about you, but why isn't it "New Year's Resolution" and not "New Year's Manifestation"? I'd like to think that eating less sugar in 2020 embodies the weightloss theory to some extent, or perhaps actually waking up on time will encourage the likelihood of increased productivity?

Well, for my own sanity, I thought it would be a good idea to list out twenty things I would like to "embody" in 2020 and not things that will hold me to a brick wall. These are the things I would like to manifest and acknowledge throughout the year because I do believe things will change for the better and I do believe in new beginnings. However, I will not hold myself to these, in fact, I can completely disregard them. These are just ideas, proposed goals, and ways in which I would like to see myself grow. 
01.  I would like to manifest positive thinking on situations in my life and knowing there are just   
things I cannot control. 

02. I would like to manifest the ability to let go of the little things that will not be relevant or beneficial to my overall well-being. 

03. I would like to manifest healthy relationships with people who reciprocate the same love and care I have for them. 

04. I would like to manifest the courage to block out negativity throughout my online and social media habits—or completely change the way I use my time on it. 

05. I would like to manifest more time for the things I love doing like being creative: writing, photography, painting, and reading. 

06. I would like to manifest strength to power through yoga classes and new experiences that surpass my physical abilities because I know my body is capable of much more than my mind says so. 

07. I would like to manifest the self-control to wake up at a given time in the morning, but let myself sleep in when I need to. 

08. I would like to manifest the willpower to turn off my work-mode and find joy in simply being present in conversation with those around me. 

09. I would like to manifest the ability to not open the pantry at midnight just because Hot Cheetos sound amazing. 

10. I would like to manifest a conscience that won't allow me to obsess over messes—physical and mental. 
11. I would like to manifest the mind, body, and soul of Reese Witherspoon. 

12. I would like to manifest kindness in all and of all. 

13. I would like to manifest the patience to sit on the CTA for an extra thirty minutes to ensure my safety and sanity are in check. 

14. I would like to manifest more time to appreciate and less time to long for something better. 

15. I would like to manifest happiness in the little joys of each and every day. 

16. I would like to manifest more laughter. 

17. I would like to manifest a free spirit that allows me to simply dance it out to ABBA when I need to. 

18. I would like to manifest the same passion I've always had for writing and the work I truly love. 

19. I would like to manifest balance in my consumer habits and spend more on experiences. 

20. I would like to manifest the ability to not hold myself against, shame, or doubt these manifestations because I am allowed to change my mind, start anew, scream, and forgive myself.

But, most of all, I manifest self-love. 

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