It's rare for me to talk about my relationship status, but over the course of a few months I have experienced through close friends and family the hardships of broken relationships and people left feeling empty and hopeless—something I have really yet to experience and hope not to. There's so much pressure on young people to be dating and out and about finding a man or woman to have on your arm. What even is dating anymore? Swiping right?
I've had my fair share of Tinder experiences and dates, this probably won't be the end of it, but it has really made me reconsider the reasons we date and find people to be with nowadays. High school was never an option for me to date. I personally just didn't have much interest in dating and then breaking up before we graduated. "People just date to break up," was my impression of it all. It was just so taboo to me because people would just fake be together to "be together".
Now that I'm in my second year of college, I've got to wondering about how my parent's generation just happened to meet their soulmates in college, because frankly, I haven't found any contenders. Times have changed and I think expectations are way higher, now that we can customize our dating preferences online and immediately swipe away the duds. How have we become fixated on finding this "perfect one," when we're all too fixated on making ourselves appear to be the "perfect one" online?
These past two years in college have opened my eyes to what I really want moving forward, socially and career-wise. I've begun to embrace my autonomy and have become more inspired because of it. I've been producing creative work that I believe in—doing that is hard when you have to worry about your significant other. There have been so many instances that I've noticed people being hindered and cut off from fully being their monarch butterfly selves just because they were afraid of releasing from that bond (or crysallis if we're staying on the topic of butterflies) for a moment to do something they themselves wanted to do.
Knowing that I have the freedom to do whatever the hell I want during this period of my life has not only strengthened my mental wellbeing but the way I approach challenges and also when I do meet new people, I'm confident in myself. I don't have anyone to report to or prove it to, but me. Of course, I would be open to relationships and all the joys that come with it—I'm not anti-dating. Finding myself now, during college, has lead me to reflect on who I want to become and who I would consider letting into my life.
There also comes a point in time where I think every middle-aged person feels like they're forced to marry or settle with the first person they see. What a terrible way to connect with someone! Wouldn't you think? I mean obviously that's not entirely the case unless you're on 90 Day Fiance, then I guess you don't have much of a choice. I want my 20s to be a fun exploration of people and relationships, but I also want to remind myself that I don't need anyone to fulfill some social need or standard; that we're all just supposed to have dated a lot of people by the time we're thirty.
Not gonna lie, I had one of the best weekends I've had in a while. Sometimes I feel like the world is going full speed ahead and I'm at a standstill—and vice versa. When at times, you can feel so low, have an amazing high, and then back down again, it's hard to tell what's in store when all you can rely on is hope.
I have great things ahead of me, but sometimes I wonder why I am capable of having all of these things. It's too easy. I feel guilty about it. I tell myself to remember all of the great things I have, the people in my life, the connections I've made, the stability and security, and a small part of me is fearful that it could all be taken away in an instant.
Practicing gratitude has been only one of the most grounding factors in my life, as well as, allowing myself to feel good. Jealousy, comparison, resentment, fear, and all of that bad juju we feel in small bits every once in a while outshine all the good that we forget we have in our lives or are able of having and deserving. Some of the best moments I've had are with the people I love—sine clothes, money, job, status, social media following, or superficial obsessions.
It takes a lot of introspectivity to realize that we are all capable of happiness if we allow ourselves to see past the matter of our own desires. Maybe it's not happiness, per se, but it could definitely be something better. I have to confess, I find myself in a position of deep fear and just utter self-depreciation at times. I'll be in bed, on the train, in class, getting coffee, etc. and these thoughts just invade my brain.
Lately, though, I have felt a remarkable amount of promptitude and at a pace that I can follow. I'm busy, that's for sure, but the only direction is up from here. I've kicked off producing more quality content on here that I am beginning to keep up with and actually love. I'm proud of the creative work I am doing and hope that more can inspire me to continue. Including new social media projects, I am working on for Her Campus DePaul, my college's online women's magazine. I also got back into photography and have been picking up some graduation photo side gigs, my camera definitely needed to be taken out more!
I am also studying abroad in like two months, which is UNREAL. All of my dreams of traveling are going to become a reality and I think it will hit me once I head to the airport that morning. We will be attending the Cannes Lions Festival of Creativity the first week networking with prestigious brands and building our portfolios, so I am extremely excited I get to be a part of it this year.
I guess things with me academically, socially, and personally, have been really good. Maybe too good, but I'm not going to question it. I still have moments I digress, but it has been easier for me to control those feelings and a little sunshine can help.
I worry about a lot, and usually about little things that don't matter. Remind yourself of the little wins you have each day: whether someone complimented your necklace, you got a good grade, or maybe the barista got your order right this time. Whatever it is, there is always something to be thankful for and appreciative of. Practicing gratitude every day or when you think you need it can make all the difference in times of grey. Also, smile :)
I have already worn sandals once this month and am determined to wear them again. Since it is starting to warm up, I've been more conscious about my toenails. Something as simple as a nail color can go such a long way when it means you feel more boss-like or put together. This might not be true for everyone, but I definitely get excited when it starts to look pretty out and I can actually wear something other than jeans and boots.
I have always been on the search for new nail colors and found these pretty Sally Hansen Miracle Gels to try out. When it comes to doing my nails, I definitely do not want to be sitting there for an hour waiting for them to dry only to get up and smear them. Paying for a mani/pedi is also not in the budget, although I would love to just have a monthly treatment, doing it yourself can be just as great.
Now I have only gotten a gel manicure once, and I quite liked the process, except for the waiting. I just remember sitting there for what seemed like forever. Maybe that's just because I was new to it, or I have no patience, but I also loved the way that it stayed on forever. By "forever," I mean like two weeks or until I got bored with the color. These no UV light, no chip, polishes have been out for quite some time, but I thought why not test it to see just how long they last? Granted, I did not purchase the Miracle Gel topcoat and was very pleased with the results nonetheless.
This peachy coral, named Koi Coral, is a color I've actually never owned. It's very springy and light. One thing I noticed with the bottles, is that there's a rubber lining on the lid, which makes it so easy to open. I've literally had to pry nail polish bottles open with my teeth before, so I am very grateful these are easy to open.
The next shade I picked up was After Altar, which I assume is a marriage reference? I'm always curious how companies think of the names ha. Anyway, this one is a nice creamy white color. Almost like an eggshell, I would say. Perfect for your tootsies! I always gravitate towards bright neutrals and whites for my toes during the spring and summer. It's a nice base for glitter and sparkle, too.
I also picked up this lavender pink shade, because I also do not have a color like this, and fell in love with it. It's called Forever Together. I also really appreciate the flat brush or applicator that comes with it. I always find that they're just the best brushes for polish, I may be partial to having squared nails, but I can swipe once and the whole nail is covered!
To my knowledge, these colors are not listed on the Sally Hansen website as I was searching for them so I may have bought the last of them at my Target or what have you. I made sure to link them from Amazon, as they still exist out there on the interweb. I know I get so annoyed when a color I love gets discontinued, but hey, that means new polish! There's usually a dupe for just about any color anyway. What's your go-to spring shade?
I usually like to play it safe when it comes to skincare since so many products in the past have not managed to cooperate with my skin, but I was in dire need of a reshuffle and it was about time to switch out my daily cleanser and some moisturizers. I love to try out new products, but I am way more cautious than I was before. Especially now that the season is transitioning, my face isn't as dry or in winter mode anymore.
When I do try out new skincare products, I like to give them some time to really adjust to my face before I make a final impression. Lately, I've confided in Sephora for skincare and trying out more luxury brands. I still love using my Simple Micellar Water and use it daily as well. There are just a few products I wanted to try out and had some great experiences with. I have been obsessed with the Kiehl's Ultra Oil-Free Facial Cleanser for the past six months. I completely love it over all the gel cleansers and acne treating cleansers I've used before. I'm not entirely sure how I got introduced to this, but it could have been one of the Sephora experts who happened to know exactly what kind of cleanser I was in need of.
I love that it lathers really quickly and isn't a powerfully scented cleanser like some of the Neutrogena ones I have used. It is very gentle and leaves my skin feeling very clean and smooth, no oil to be found on this smiling face! On the topic of Kiehl's, I just scraped out the last of my mini Creme de Corps Lotion that I literally saved this entire time because I enjoyed it so much, I don't know why I haven't just purchased a regular sized bottle.
After I have cleansed my face, I still continue to moisturize. I received this Evolue Day and Night Cream in a PR package and surprisingly, it has been the only moisturizer I've actually liked in a while. I have been trying to get my skin adjusted to warmer weather, since it was so dry in the winter, and have had problems with moisturizers burning my face. This is a very light, oil-free, cream and makes my skin feel very taut and firm. I also managed to scoop out the smallest amount of Tarte's Maracuja C-Brighter Eye Treatment, that almost felt like a mask for my eyes. I also don't know why it lasted so long, but I would definitely say a little goes a long way.
The GlamGlow Supermud Clearing Treatment Charcoal Mask acts as an emergency life-saver for all my breakouts and bad skin days. This is another sample size, that I wish was more inexpensive regularly, but nonetheless is another superstar product for cleaning out the gunk and gross stuff that sits on your face all day. It also smells minty and fresh and not muddy like some charcoal mud masks do. It's so handy when I'm on the go and traveling, too. Oh GlamGlow, how you do me so well.
Lately, I have tried to put a little more makeup on, I've noticed my overall mood is better when I do put makeup on and helps to wake me up a bit. When I do look like death some days, I make sure to put on a primer at least to even out my skin and rejuvenate my face where it needs it. This also precedes lots of concealer, so I've tried out this Cover FX Mattifying Primer and it really gives almost like a real-life filtered look. It blurs out imperfections and makes my concealer stay on 4 EVER. It's also an acne treatment—who wouldn't want that? My pores look flawless.
Personally, I feel like it is very easy to lose optimism when it comes to taking care of your skin and finding products that work best for you. It's been a bit of a journey and my skin is subject to change (you better not). I know I have kind of strayed away from the product endorsing posts, but I think at this point I'm still very open to trying things out and I also know products I already love.
Spring is a season of changes and maybe that means changing one thing about your skincare regimen.
Hello April! The month we've all been waiting for and a busy month at that. There is a lot in store for me this month as I'm now looking at my calendar and there seems to be a mark on each day for me. It's the first day back to school and while I've had a very relaxing spring break visiting family, painting Bob Ross, and rejuvenating my calamity in the country side, I'm glad to be back in the city. I think everyone gets a bit antsy this time of year with the sun teasing us with rays and a fresh spring start.
01. One of the things that I have been trying to focus on is this blog and creating content that I'm proud of; that isn't the clichè fashion blogger type posts. I have noticed that I am getting more into lifestyle posts, or at least my tags say so, because I connect with this type of writing more. I have also been needing to take my camera out a bit, I've hidden it away out of pure laziness and a lack of motivation to edit all my photos and I just can't use that excuse because I love my camera and the photos I take on it.
02. The winter slum is over and that means I need to revamp the way I present myself. Not for anyone, but me, myself, and I. I got very comfortable wearing sweats and Uggs, but sometimes I wish I had the same fashion motivation to take the extra effort, wake up early, and actually add some things to my morning regime. I would say that my daily regime is very low maintenence, but when I do give myself the time, I feel more productive, confident, and an overall sense of "I can do this today," just because I wore jeans or swiped a coat of mascara on.
03. I don't know if I formally announced, but I will be studying abroad this summer in Europe and this quarter I start my class that coincides with the course. I will be studying international advertising with sixteen other DePaul students who we work with during the quarter. I will be visitng three countries: France, Spain, and The Netherlands for three weeks building my portfolio and conducting team projects while I'm there exploring the culture and gaining a global perspective of the ad industry. This will be my first time leaving the country and I am so excited to be going. I am not sure how I feel about advertising, since my focus is public relations, but having knowledge in both areas will be more than beneficial for my future in the industry.
04. When I'm not focusing on my blog or school work, I have been very involved in two student organizations at DePaul: Her Campus Media and DePaul PRSSA. I believe that I have mentioned these in the past, but recently I got the opportunity to not only edit for Her Campus, but become one of their social media content creators. This quarter I have had a really fun time playing around with designs for our new flyers and media posts—something I've always kind of loved. Her Campus is mainly an online college run magazine for students to openly express themselves, so being a part of the process and seeing all of the work being done is amazing.
PRSSA has also brought me onto their executive board this year and we start our first meetings this quarter. This is something that is really important to me professionally and socially. All of the people and connections I've made have been so worthwhile—we're like a big family. It's amazing to see how much talent there is. I will be recruiting new members into the organization and one of my responsibilities is to handle the fall involvement fair.
05. What's next on the agenda for me is finding an internship to do when I come back this summer. I know it may be a little early to do so, but you can never be too early job searching. I have all the resources I need at school, it's just getting it done and meeting with people to talk more about my options. I really have to tackle the search with an open mind, otherwise I'll be frantically looking for internships next year. I've found that a lot of people luck out on internships because they know a specific person who works for this specific company—it can be very intimidating when everyone around you is a step ahead. So, my goal for this month is to really hone down my search and reach out to my career center to get a head start. Experience is experience, so who knows what might happen?
April is one of those months when everyone is getting back from their exotic spring break vacations (or stay-cations) and turning their heads back to work and getting things done before summer starts. For me, it's a time of busy-busy and opportunity. I just have to keep my mind focused on things I want to work towards without comparing it to others—remaining authentic. I have a lot of promising things ahead of me and it will be important to remember that. What's on your to-do list for April?
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