Strength has been the theme to the start of the new year for me.
Regaining my strength after the relax and rest of the holidays, finding the strength to return back to my routine, and building strength—both physical and mental. Strength has manifested itself in many ways for me, but I've noticed lately that I'm falling short of it.
However, just when I think I'm at my weakest is when I realize just how strong I can truly be. It could be as simple as waking up at a consistent time every morning, lifting heavier weights at the gym, or finding the emotional capacity to be vulnerable to trying something new or open up to someone.
I think we all have different definitions of strength and what it means for us—our physical, emotional, and mental capacities are constantly tested, tried, and worn. Especially at a time when the world is digressing into what could be another lockdown, here's to hoping. I lean on strength and cultivating strength to get through it all, so here's how:
Finding Power in Discomfort
There's nothing more discomforting than finding out that your body or mind has reached its limit. I noticed this the other day when I started benching. I don't usually go to the gym and bench a ton because I don't normally have anyone to spot me, but this time I was working out with a friend who encouraged me to try it. I've always been curious to see how much weight I was capable of handling, but to my surprise it didn't take too much weight for my left bicep to completely give out on me. I felt defeated and like I should definitely have been able to lift more.
I'm writing this with sore biceps and the realization that although my arms gave out on me, I tried and I tested my strength in a way I never have before. When mental and physical challenges test us, it's truth telling of just how strong we actually can be—even when we think we're at our weakest in the moment. We never truly know how strong we are if we just allow ourselves to submit to the discomfort of the challenge or obstacle at hand.
Leaning on People
This may seem like a given, but I find that I need the constant reminder that building strength isn't just a solo venture. Knowing that there are people who are on the same journey to find strength, in whatever form, lifts me up just as much as it lifts them up.
Specifically, choosing people who choose me; who care enough to want to stay, listen, and allow me to be my completely and utterly genuine self. I've found that these select people: family, friends, and colleagues are those who I can lean onto, learn from, and feel uplifted by.
I find it easier to get through the day when I can find at least one positive or good thing that happened, no matter how miniscule. It keeps me present and allows me to focus on the things that truly matter. One way I've started doing this is keeping a jar aside to write at least one good thing on a sticky note each day. It could have been a really, really good latte or going out with friends to play mini golf.
I jot it down, toss it in the jar, and by the end of the year I hope to have a whole jar filled with all the good that I've experienced. I think when we're trying to be strong and deal with the not-so-pretty parts all of the time, we breeze over the small joys in life.
Cultivating the power to find strength is just as difficult and dubious as finding the power to let yourself feel weak. No matter the challenge or struggle, I want to remember that it's okay to be at a discomfort with my situation, the unknown, or whatever I may be dealing with and lean on the people I trust. Remembering what matters and what uplifts me.
I am strong and you are too.
I'm sitting at a very festive coffee shop in my hometown, chai latte in hand, and it almost feels like I'm the main character of a post-Christmas Hallmark movie—whose decided that there's no better time to start blogging again than the second day of the new year. Ah 2022, what are we going to do. So many possibilities of what the new year could bring. Every season I always feel a sense of pressure to make necessary resets: whether it be taking down all of the Christmas decorations asap, re-organizing my closet, limiting my social media use, investing in a new hobby, muting toxic people—the whole lot.
What I have forgotten to do is reflect on what I have actually accomplished this past year amidst the worrying and curiosity over what could come. I graduated college, I got my first job, I travelled more than I thought I would, I started powerlifting, I met some pretty stellar folks, and besides the icky mucky bumps here and there, 2021 served me well.
I will say that I am ready for change, not so much Chicago winter, but you can only ask for so much right? I do have a couple of goals I would like to keep in mind throughout the year and things I am looking forward to. In addition, I need to treat each day with optimism and openness for the possibility of change and growth—not letting some stale or stagnant days be wasted and making the most out of every opportunity to live a bit more mindfully this year.
Moving On and Moving Out
A goal that has been pushed off my radar since I moved back home during Covid is when I would officially move out. I made it a point to do everything in my power to find a job and get on my feet after college before moving back into the city. I've romanticized the idea of what living on my own would be like. Granted, I don't want to live alone but having the power to finally have my own space, closer to the city I love, and where I can begin a new chapter is all so enchanting to me. I don't think it will be anytime in the next couple of months, but this year is definitely the year. Thankfully, my sisters and my best friend have all volunteered to go apartment hunting with me, so I would be open to sharing that process with you all later on. One big step and it will happen very, very soon—I know it.
Fostering Momentous Motivation
With the idea of moving, which is already a huge moment of change, I already know that there is still a lot of newness and experiences I have yet to have. With winter rolling back around and the Omicron variant lurking, I don't want to sink back into the comfort bubble again—whether it be repeating the same workouts at the gym (or from home), not turning my camera on during work calls, or just hunkering down because "it's too cold out".
There was a time when I used to be so vigilant and proactive about reaching for things like applying for a new executive role in a club or applying for study abroad, no matter how uncomfortable or strenuous the process was. I tell some of my friends who are finishing up college that I genuinely miss learning and having benchmarks to master: like speaking to people fluently in Spanish, the ambition I used to have when I was drafting and re-drafting my resume, the adrenaline rush I used to get before I would meet a new student to tutor. I didn't realize it then, but I was cultivating a routine that I would yearn for the rest of my life. I want to be constantly productive, proactive with my goals, and reclaim that motivation I had when I would crank out twelve page papers on the Yellowstone River in the library. I miss that Natalie, but she is back and more ready to take on whatever may come her way.
Choosing People Who Choose Me
This year brought forth a new realization of how I prioritize and care about my relationships—platonic or romantic. I've been able to experience different relations with people, more than I thought I would this year. I needed the connection and I craved it to a point where I didn't even recognize myself because I truly came out of my shell this summer. People come and go, yes, but I like to think that I try to lead every interaction knowing that I put in the effort to connect, listen, and learn something new from everyone I meet. No matter how long they stay. I want to invest my time, energy, love, and compassion with people who want to be around me.
Investing in Me-Time
Sure I've been a bit of a social butterfly this year, but with that came a lot of worrying and dwelling about other people. A lot of what I yearn for, like a newfound motivation for example, came at a time when I was fully content and driven to work on myself when nobody else was really in the picture. It ebbs and flows at different points in my life of course, but I always find that when I'm doing the things I love (like writing), I am focused and am feeding my soul what it really needs! I want to make more conscious decisions when it comes to investing in what I need and what will help me best succeed.
I am embracing the new year with grace, knowing that each and every day will be different and I have to also give myself grace when I need to slow things down and reflect. Rather than setting a template for how I want 2022 to look, I'll always go back to what my dad urges me to remember: to take it day by day.
I am ready for more laughs, more wine nights, experiencing jaw dropping views, surprising myself by reaching new heights, and maybe learning how to actually cook in the process—give or take.
What are you looking forward to in the new year?
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