I visited a place near and dear to my heart. My mom's heart.
It's my mom's hometown in southern Iowa. This town used to be a mining town, and now is home to 634 people. Summers, holidays, and spring breaks would be spent visiting my grandparents--making homemade pizza or painting with my grandma or fishing down at the reservoir with my grandpa.
Coming back to this place brings back cherished memories and walking into their home brings back the history of the good 'ol days when my two sisters and I would beg to see the bison farms or make our way to the discount Amish stores outside of town where we knew we could stock up on 30 cent chewing gum (this was within the last five years that is).
It was an escape from the city. Where my mom knew everybody she ran into at the town square. One Casey's gas station, one school for K-12, one library, one bank, one restaurant. Life is slow here. Life is good.
As I walk around the dirt roads around town, I notice the beauty in the remains of what used to be. The dilapidated homes, the rusting trucks and trailers, crumbling concrete...there was a life here. There was a story here. I continue to ponder the dust and debris, thoughts pop into my head like "when was the last time someone parked this school bus and left it here to see its dying days?".
The purpose of being here was to visit family. It was also to go to a funeral. But it wasn't all sad and it wasn't all tears. It was most definitely a celebration of life. A small town turned vibrant on one of the darkest days.
Their school was rebuilt from ruins after a tornado five years ago. As we toured the new school this weekend, my mom took a detour to visit her old classroom, her mom's classroom, and even her dad's old office. Taking steps throughout the halls made my mom become fragile, I could tell that she had a hard time with all of the memories that flooded back into her head. But this school--this town--is far from fragile.
I see proud alumni. Proud neighbors. Homes being built. Railroad tracks being repaired. Ice cream shops being rumored. There are still plans for this place, still more life to live.
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In seeing destruction and rubble can be built anew, there is still peace among the chaos. The trees, brush, and prairie flowers persist to embrace the old structures and sidewalk cracks. Just as there are times when I can try to find the beauty in the rubble and focus on finding inner peace within myself.
Life goes on.
Life grows on.
Oh August.
The beautiful month. My beautiful birthday month. A month where I feel like everything aligns. Everything always feels right during this time of the year. It always feels like August was just yesterday. The harvest of summer. The sun beating just right. The days still long, but time slows down a bit going into the emergence of fall. Maybe that's just the leo in me speaking.
My previous post talked about slowing down. A sentiment I still hold true for this month and what's to come of it. There is so much more to discover this month and new explorations: of me and my surroundings. It almost feels like I've frozen the record for a moment, picked it up to inspect the disk, and put it back to keep on playing its sweet melody (shoutout if you still know what a record is...).
This month, the record keeps on playing. I've got a lot in store and am hopeful for the warmth August brings.
01. Only 15 more days—two weeks—until I leave for Italy with my cousin. We have finally booked everything. From our accommodations to our tours and activities. Thankfully, I have the advice from my neighbor who just went to Italy and my sister who just got back from Europe this past weekend to console with about my packing choices, places to visit and eat, travel restrictions, and recommendations from their recent traveling.
I know I will most definitely be packing light. As much as I want to bring really cute outfits and accessories, I know for a fact I will not want to be bothered with lugging around a ton of stuff. A backpack, purse, and a small carry on is all I'm bringing. I'm committed. Although I've been asking others what the one toiletry they stand by—I heard "lotion" and "deodorant" so I think I'm set...the anticipation builds and I can't wait to share that story on here soon.
02. I've always championed investment in "me time". The hustle of summer plans puts that on hold, but I also realize that every season brings its own vibe. Its own version of "me time". Such as, choosing to read a book outside or cozying up and drinking a cup of tea. I have the power to make and prioritize that time for myself nor should I have to defend it. #leo
03. Making moves. Career moves. I just transitioned into a new Strategic Planning role with my company, Golin! Ever since I graduated, I knew this path is where I wanted to be. And with a company and team of co-workers I truly have gotten to love working with this past year. It's not so much as a promotion, but I treat it as such. A "pivot" I would say. It will allow me to build off of my research and insights roots and challenge my creative side more. I will be working on some fun brands like McDonald's, Grubhub, Ferrara, and Allstate. After onboarding just last week in the office, I will be kicking off some new discovery projects this week.
04. Revisiting family is a big priority for me this month. Actually, in just three days I will be headed to southern Iowa to see my grandparents who I haven't seen since before the pandemic...three years ago. It will be a much needed reunion. It also is a place, a desolate and quaint place, for me to find inner peace.
What more would you need from corn fields, barns, cows, and a ton of gravel roads? This is a necessary trip for me and my family. It will be a hard trip for me and my family. But I am embracing the love that will come from it. And the love that is to come from this month.
There are moments during summer where I find that the cicadas chirp louder than my thoughts, the heat beats heavier off of my skin, the sun radiates a bit too bright, and the days are just a little bit too long. We always think of this season as a break, when really, we're aching to make the most of every sliver of sunlight we get until we're quite literally—burnt out.
The joys and radiation of this season over the years has left many beautiful memories, this one too, but lately I've been yearning for inner peace, calm, and for the days to just slow down a bit. To feel the easy summer breeze and just take a pause.
And so—I return to this blog. A place where I have been able to slow down. I can sit back, tune out the cicadas, sip a glass of cabernet, Cage The Elephant hums in the background, and I write away. Just like I used to. Just like I committed to. Just like I loved to.
I am at a point in my life where routine, ritual, and solitude are needed most. I've realized that this chick can't live without her peace. Her inner peace. Without disruption. Without interruption. I am definitely the type of person who needs to reset, recharge, and refuel her inner conscious.
However, I do find myself also boosted by those around me. My support system. My family. My friends. My love. When life gets a bit too noisy—noisier than the thoughts in my head—I've got a pretty cool superpower to help me out.
My love for myself. And those who remind me to do what makes me ME.
Those who remind me of what makes ME happy.
WHAT makes me happy.
WHO makes me happy.
And why I NEED to be happy for myself and only myself.
- - -
On the flip side, I also need to remember the embrace and warmth summer brings. The life it brings to the apples of my cheeks. The hug it gives me every time I open my blinds. And no matter the millions of little love bites I get from mosquitos—I get a little comfort knowing I can take a deep breath and be at ease.
That tomorrow is a new day.
A new portrait to paint.
A new clear day.
It's only the beginning.
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