12.01.2020

My December Goals.

Happy December! The time we've all be waiting for has arrived—the holidays. Truly one of the jolliest times of the year couldn't be needed more. With uncertainty and despair lurking, this year has truly been one of the most difficult years for us all. Saying sayonara to 2020, I'm reflecting on the way this year has challenged, changed, and in some ways, reinvented my mindset.

And a happy new year...
While I want to take this year and throw it in the garbage, there were actually a few pure and joyful moments within it, despite all of the darkness. I guess that's what they say about darkness, at least. You can't have darkness without light. I can cherish in the small moments of quarantine games, laughter, snuggly movie nights, endless baking challenges, and reminisce about all of the family Zoom reunions I was able to create. It was in these dark, dark times of sadness and defeat that I found the power to connect, enlighten, and realize that what truly matters is what is here and what is now. So, as a vow for a brighter future and a happy new year, I've set aside some goals for the last month of 2020. 
01. Recognize what is here and embrace it. It would be pretty ungrateful and selfish of me not to admit that I have a pretty good life. Sure, I'm not at school, in an apartment, out in the world doing what I may. But, with the circumstances and where I am in life, I couldn't be more fortunate. I say that with the utmost humility, because I'm sure someone reading this might also be taking their situation for granted. Your routine has been tampered with, what you knew is irrelevant, and the future is uncertain and as Miley Cyrus so eloquently sings can't go far but you can always dream. Times will change, but remind yourself of the greatness that already surrounds you while you still have it. Your health. Your family. Your friends. Etc. 

02. Brush off what I can't control. Whether I choose to read three books in a month, bake a new recipe, finally get out my camera, or try a new hairstyle, there are things in my life right now that I can control. I can control how I start my day, react to things, make my bed or not, or watch another episode. I am the queen of dwelling and dwelling hard. Past, present, and future. I want to take in the joys of December and leave behind the shadows of months and years past and not worrying about the new year. With that, I need to acknowledge how these thoughts affect me—and my sleep patterns—but also how they affect other people. A day spent dwelling is a day wasted. 

03. Feed into my creative curiosities. What I needed the most this year were modes of inspiration in days filled with staying at home and logging onto my computer. I crave creative projects—productive projects—and finally getting my camera out was one of them. Rebranding my blog was another creative project I took on during quarantine, but I always thought my blog had more potential and possibly a better reach if I tried to navigate ways to improve it. I've always written for myself, but maybe I could collab with other bloggers, take up different talking points that have to do with my environmental passions, or start a podcast. Who knows! All I know is that this month brings out the bright ideas and warm thoughts for me to reset and realign with my motivations coming into the new year. 

04. Reconnect with old friends. A lot of my good friends will be coming home for winter break soon and it will be so refreshing to have people my age to hang with! It's unfortunate because many of my college and old high school friends live around the country, but my two best friends still live next door to me which has been the saving grace of living through the pandemic. Not only that, but I hope to call more distant friends I miss. There's always an undertone to one-sided relationships, but I really don't mind being the friend that calls or sends holiday cards. I get so much joy out of it knowing I can make someone's day better and that's just the reality I've accepted. We keep the friends who've been with us for the long haul and I don't think there should be reason to disconnect when life gets in the way. *Disclaimer: I am also a believer in moving on from toxic friends who don't reciprocate friendship back, but am talking more so about paused or distant friendships, and I've dealt with those too* 

05. Reclaim my purpose and keep moving forward. For whoever might need to also hear this, times are going to change and life will move forward. Hopefully in an upwards direction, but you know, life isn't fair (putting that very lightly). All of this waking up and monotonous e-learning has tested my motivations, challenged what I want to do with my life after being at home for 9 months, resurged a need for independence, and an unruly reliance on my support system. I've had moments of doubt, specifically as my senior year is almost half way through, and it seems like I just got through the hard part right? Well, if there's anything I've learned from Finding Nemo, just keep swimming :)

What are you looking forward to this month? 

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