It's hard. It's insanely hard.
There's no way I can fully describe the way I'm feeling because there are just so many things going on in my brain. I'm trying not to shake as I type this and I'm trying to swallow back tears as I stare at this picture while I write. I thought that I would document this time of my life because I want to remember all of the good times I've had with my buddy. It's not everyday you get to wake up and snuggle next to a furry lug, but these past 12 years have been truly amazing with him. I hope this post can help those of you who have lost their furry friends or who have very old furry friends looking for someone to talk to.
There's no way I can fully describe the way I'm feeling because there are just so many things going on in my brain. I'm trying not to shake as I type this and I'm trying to swallow back tears as I stare at this picture while I write. I thought that I would document this time of my life because I want to remember all of the good times I've had with my buddy. It's not everyday you get to wake up and snuggle next to a furry lug, but these past 12 years have been truly amazing with him. I hope this post can help those of you who have lost their furry friends or who have very old furry friends looking for someone to talk to.
For those of you who are new, my golden retriever, Rigly, has been mentioned a few times on here. He's been with me for so long and we got him back in 2005 when I had just moved into my current home. You don't think that your pet is ever going to leave you until that day without a tail wag, or a bark to welcome you home. I've had some great memories with Rigly and my family; we go on annual camping trips which I have blogged about in the past and he absolutely loved the new scents since he was a very domesticated (and spoiled) city dog. Being in the wilderness was his favorite. My family and I had a secret sand dune that we would watch the sunset on over the lake and we would try to push Rigly up it since dogs aren't made to go up steep, sandy dunes anyway.
Rigly was never a bad dog. We got him from my aunt who lives out in Oregon and she actually brought him over on an airplane, if you could believe it. My family and I decided on getting the "runt" of the litter and wanted the puppy who didn't jump on or bite everybody. In fact, when we first got him, he would immediately hide under a chair. Over the past years, there has never been a time when Rigly has bitten or growled at any of us. He was so protective, yet lazy and tired at the same time. He was my lump. My lug-nut. My loaf. My beached whale. "Poop", my Dad would call him. It's funny because Rigly was so mellow that I would just lay stuff on him for no reason and he would just lie there and not care. But he did care. A lot. About all of us.
I remember Freshman year when I broke my ankle in softball, I would come home from a long day of crutching along and I would plop all my stuff on the floor and lay on the couch. Pitter patters later, came in Rig and he just layed his head on the couch right next to my face. That's when I knew that he knew. There have been many times when Rigly would comfort us. Normally, he would trudge around the living room and hop onto the couch with my mom and just blatantly stare at her--and then lay right on top of her legs. I also remember a time when my dad had a terrible chest cramp and no one was around to notice. Rigly was lying right next to him with his cute box ears and would look worried because he knew that his "master" was not the way he normally is. He was a great dog.
Over the past couple of weeks, we knew that something was up. He had a growing mass near his abdomen and we knew that it wasn't right. Overtime, we just ignored it and was told by the vet that it was just from old age. We enjoyed our time with him, but it got worse when his back legs gave out on him and his mass got even bigger. He was tested and got diagnosed with liver disease. We think he was suffering from liver cancer, but it was too expensive to get surgery on him to fully tell if it was cancer.
His appetite slowed and it got to the point where we were giving him chicken fries from Burger King and chocolate donuts because that's all he literally wanted (and yes chocolate is bad for dogs). He kept drinking, which was good. I couldn't bear to see him starve. From Monday to Friday, he ate nothing. Zip. We couldn't force food into him and stress him out more. It was already painful to see my Dad carry him in and out of the house just to pee.
Sorry I just broke down a little and now I'm cleaning tears off my keyboard. UGH.
He would throw up nonstop and he actually had a couple accidents in our house which made it smell even worse. We had blankets and carpets everywhere to help him get up and sometimes we would just push him across the hardwood floor to move him. His mind was saying something totally different than his body was. He wanted to eat and play, but his body failed him immensely. We thought it was best to put him down and as I'm writing this, my parents are at the vet with him and he's at peace now with his puppy mom and dad.
He lived a very long and happy life. He's been through a lot of good and bad parts of mine. We've experienced a lot with him and I'm giggling at the time when he somehow got out of our house and ran straight across a busy highway and somehow survived because he was the little stinker that he was. Oh god, I hate talking about him in the past tense; he was just here.
I want him to be happy and he made me happy. It was probably one of the kindest things (besides giving him a ton of people food and love lol) that we could have done for him; to release him from his pain and suffering. I will never forget him and I will wait until we meet again. I love you Rigly.
<3
It is almost nearing into spring, and many things are going to happen in the next couple of months. Since, I am a senior in high school, there are loads of events going on and things to plan for. The past couple of days have been very stressful. Let's be honest, not everyday is a bright, shining miracle that we all get to look forward to. I have my very gloomy days, too.
I don't want to go full in detail and just pour myself out there (even though that's the point of having a blog). A few days ago, my precious 12 year old golden retriever, Rigly, became very sick. He is pretty old and has been slowing down a lot; he was recently diagnosed with some type of liver disease that creates excess fluid near his spleen. He's pretty much inflating like a balloon at this point. It has disabled his appetite and he has a lot of trouble moving around due to arthritis in his hind legs. It got very bad really quickly and it was not a fun Saturday.
To cut the vivid details out, he was very sick and held none of the food we had given him. We took him to the vet for the third time and they gave him an anti-nausea shot which helped him keep food down for a while. Due to financial things, paying for a $500 dollar surgery was not really in the question. Every now and then, we get a little glimpse at the old puppy we love when he occasionally wags his tail, but it doesn't (sadly) seem to be brightening up around here. We are determined to keep him as comfortable as we can, but from one dog (or even pet lover) to the next, you can imagine how painful this point might be.
With that on my shoulders, I also have college decisions, graduation plans and invitations to make, extra curriculars, and a ton of school work to handle right now that really isn't all that I want to be doing. It's been emotional, for me, this past weekend and I hope you all understand that I kind of need a week to just chill and not have to worry about writing a half-assed post for this upcoming week. I'm gonna take it slow and hopefully i'll be back next week or the week after with some great things to share with all of you. I wish everybody a great week filled with sunshine and rainbows <3
It's never too late to start with firming facial serums! To be quite honest, I'm not sure why I never thought about using serums. I was always intimidated by them because many that I have seen reviewed, were very pricey and were not for skin types like mine; oily, acne prone, dry, and sensitive. However, one of my good friends, who isn't into the makeup scene, gave me this serum to use and I am so happy she did!
I was really interested to try this product out because I've never heard of this brand or product before. Granted, it is from Oprah's beauty box subscription so, I knew it was going to be good. This Balance Hydrating and Calming Serum made by Jean Seo is one of the most popular products sold on the site. The brand is called Evolue and has very eco friendly products. From what I researched online, the Lue products are targeted directly to acne prone skin types (win!).
I was sort of oblivious to how you use serums and I just assumed that they're similar to moisturizers. You hardly need a lot to fully cover the face and I just drop some on my fingers and massage it outwards on my face, especially focusing on the upper part of my face like my cheekbones and around my cheek bone and trouble areas.
This serum is supposed to not only hydrate dry skin, but create a flawless, poreless finish and I really love the way it smoothes out my skin and blurs my pores. For the most part, it does a very nice job covering up my pores and I can notice the difference when I put on makeup with and without using the serum. I like to use this morning and night time; my skin feels so fresh and bouncy after I apply a thin layer onto my face. It's very refreshing and makes my skin have a healthy glow without looking greasy.
I was very happy about trying this product out. My first impression was a great success and hopefully I can try out more of Jean Seo's products. If you're reading this Jean Seo, please hook me up! I'm always trying to find new products that can really make a difference on my teenager skin. I have found this to be very effective with controlling my breakouts and bringing back moisture to my face.
This serum is not available in stores, to my knowledge, and it is a little bit more than you would pay for a drugstore serum, but you don't use a ton to get the job done! Plus, when it comes to skincare, it truly shouldn't matter all that much when you are treating your beautiful skin. Have you guys tried this out yet or any other products from Jean Seo's line?
It's almost towards spring and I am incredibly excited for a major spring cleaning. I have already cleaned out my purse and that got me very psyched for more of the organizing and cleaning out that this new season brings. This will be a pretty short post, shorter than usual, but I thought it would be fun to share what I normally keep in my bag! I love reading these and finding out who puts what where and I always find new tips and tricks to keep my bag clean and easy to access my important goodz.
This purse was a Christmas present I got this year and it is a Kate Spade crossbody, I have no idea what the name or type it is, and I have no available link. However, I'm sure if you just type in "black crossbody" across the interweb, you should probably come pretty close to finding it (let me know if you do!). I normally love to have a nice, quality wallet in my purse so everything is safe and secure. I think a friend gave this Louis Vuitton wallet to me, so again, I have no available source to find it or purchase it (sorry). I'm a huge believer in finding the perfect bag; one that will be with you forever and will practically last forever. Not only are these styles pretty classic and timeless, they're great quality purses (even if they were a bit more pricier). I also love hand-me-down bags because I feel like you can tell if they're really going to last if they look brand new after someone has used them.
Some very valuable things I keep in here, besides my credentials and obviously money, are my Iphone 7, my car keys, a pair of my absolute favorite sunnies (these are from a cute boutique in Oklahoma), some Orbit chewing gum that I can't get enough of, bobby pins cuz ya know, a roller ball perfume, which I have also been loving recently. It's the Taylor Swift Wonderstruck rollerball perfume. It's very sweet and fruity. I also like to keep some Midol for cramps and other products like that, and I always make sure to have some type of stain remover. The Shout Remover Wipes are the bomb. You can use it wherever and whenever, give it to a friend, and just easily pack it for trips. Normally, I'll have some type of lip balm in my bag and I have been obsessed with the EOS Summer Fruit lip balm and have to resist from eating it (lol).
What's in your bag?
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It's two days after Valentine's Day and is pretty much half way into the month already and I'm writing about my February goals. Good going, Nat. I guess I'm just too excited for the warmer weather that's approaching and I'm actually ready for this month to be over. I feel like I slowed into the new year in January and now things seem to be picking up. Btw, I was kind of inspired by Katelavie, who I adore, to do this "goals" type post, so let me know if you guys like these types of things.
College searching is done and decision day is in about three months already. It's crazy to think that time has flown. While, I'd like to share my college choices and all, I feel like I should talk about it once I decide on the right college for me...which will be soon...probably in March to be exact. While that's been stressing me out this past month, I have been doing tons of yoga. Like tons.
One of my goals for this year was to really focus on being healthier and just doing better things for my body and since the beginning of Fall, I feel like my body has really changed and I think I am the healthiest (touch wood) I've ever been. Although, I did eat like two corn dogs yesterday, but you know, you win some you lose some.
01. I really feel like I need to stop worrying so much. Out of all the years in high school, you'd never think that Senior year would be the most stressful. Well, it is. There's no testing or anything and the workload has been pretty okay, but I swear, it feels like I'm being pressured into telling everyone about my future and where I'm going and there's so much more prepping and planning for events like prom and graduation. I've just felt bombarded with stuff and I can't wait for all of it to be figured out and this weight on my shoulders can just be lifted off.
02. I'm going on a few field trips with my fashion merchandising class which I am absolutely psyched for. I decided to take a few electives this year to kind of relax and have more fun (since it is my senior year) and I have really loved it so far. We are going downtown into Chicago to Nordstrom to learn about the ambassador program and all things behind the business and retail empire. I am really looking forward to it since this it totally up my alley. We are also going to a student run fashion show the week after which I am beyond excited to attend. These are the types of opportunities I'm looking for in college and with my job, so I can't believe I get to do it now.
03. I'm going to Disney World! Another big trip I am going on in late March is with my marching band to Disney. A once in a lifetime opportunity that I would never have went on if it wasn't my last year in high school. The last time I was there was about 5 years ago and I can't wait to see what's new and go to the Hogwarts world in Universal.
04. I have been waiting and waiting for it to be warmer. Lately, in Chicago, it has been slightly warming up and I think it's supposed to be in the 60s next week if you can believe it (since it's pretty much Antarctica here). I really want to keep buying fresh flowers. My dad always says that "life's too short to not buy yourself fresh flowers every once and awhile," and I completely agree. While my mom thinks it's excessive to buy yourself flowers all the time, I just love it. I'm hoping to stay on the lookout for peonies this year, because I struggled to find any later in the summer.
05. Hopefully, my blog will continue to grow this year. I'm hoping to have a lot more great things in store as I start to go on trips and do more things once it gets warmer. I'm convinced to do at least one or two more lookbooks outside as soon as it gets nicer out. I don't personally like doing them because it takes a lot of time and I need someone to help do it, but sometimes I just get into the modeling mood. Plus, I bought some new spring stuff already and I'm just so eager to wear them even though it's 40 degrees out still.
How's your February going so far?
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