Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
There are moments during summer where I find that the cicadas chirp louder than my thoughts, the heat beats heavier off of my skin, the sun radiates a bit too bright, and the days are just a little bit too long. We always think of this season as a break, when really, we're aching to make the most of every sliver of sunlight we get until we're quite literally—burnt out.
The joys and radiation of this season over the years has left many beautiful memories, this one too, but lately I've been yearning for inner peace, calm, and for the days to just slow down a bit. To feel the easy summer breeze and just take a pause.
And so—I return to this blog. A place where I have been able to slow down. I can sit back, tune out the cicadas, sip a glass of cabernet, Cage The Elephant hums in the background, and I write away. Just like I used to. Just like I committed to. Just like I loved to.
I am at a point in my life where routine, ritual, and solitude are needed most. I've realized that this chick can't live without her peace. Her inner peace. Without disruption. Without interruption. I am definitely the type of person who needs to reset, recharge, and refuel her inner conscious.
However, I do find myself also boosted by those around me. My support system. My family. My friends. My love. When life gets a bit too noisy—noisier than the thoughts in my head—I've got a pretty cool superpower to help me out.
My love for myself. And those who remind me to do what makes me ME.
Those who remind me of what makes ME happy.
WHAT makes me happy.
WHO makes me happy.
And why I NEED to be happy for myself and only myself.
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On the flip side, I also need to remember the embrace and warmth summer brings. The life it brings to the apples of my cheeks. The hug it gives me every time I open my blinds. And no matter the millions of little love bites I get from mosquitos—I get a little comfort knowing I can take a deep breath and be at ease.
That tomorrow is a new day.
A new portrait to paint.
A new clear day.
It's only the beginning.
Hello, March! It's time to turn a new leaf and wish the snow be gone. The lull of dark winter nights is slowly but surely fading and I'm ready for a spring refresh in the coming weeks—life's been good these past couple of months, so I thought I would write a brief update on all the winter happenings and what I'm looking forward to this month!
01. Continuing work from home and transitioning into the office this spring. So far, I have been really embracing my work-from-home routine, especially since the thought of commuting in 20 degree weather just isn't ideal at the moment. I've been switching up my days by going to coffee shops or working at my gym's lounge before I workout and I've also really enjoyed getting to know my team more over the past couple of months. I've been able to work on some fun campaigns for Trolli Gummi Worms and General Mills cereal brands, so it's been a lot of fun and every day is different for me. I know I'll be heading back into the city soon, but for right now, I'm totally okay with waking up at a reasonable time and having my morning coffee without worry of catching a train.
02. Setting boundaries and creating time to dedicate to myself has been my motto. With balancing time to go out with friends, travel a lot more, and work full time, I have honed the ability to be fully content with just having time and peace to myself every now and then. I think I've fully grown into my introverted-extroverted self. I am okay having time at the end of a long work day to decompress or go to the gym and run it out to Lizzo. Setting boundaries for me to reset, be productive, and work on me—even getting back on my blog—has always helped me stay grounded.
03. A wedding, a wedding! No...not my wedding, silly. This month I'm headed down to Virginia for my good friend's wedding and I can't be more excited to actually be at a wedding with people my age. Now, before I get too old and sick of weddings, I just love to celebrate love with the people I love. That AND open bars AND cake.
04. Speaking of traveling, I've had a bit of a travel bug lately and planning quick, spontaneous weekend trips just seems to be in the cards for me lately. With skiing in Idaho, to a weekend trip to Georgia with my best friend, the wedding, and next...well I've got a big trip over the pond in the works for this summer, too!
While keeping tabs on happenings throughout the world (I say that so so lightly), my cousin and I have booked a trip to Italy and France later this summer. Details to come later, but we are thrilled and are fleshing out the itinerary as I speak...so stay tuned!
05. So, this is really cheesy and gimmicky, but to remember the joys of each day I've been writing down little blurbs of good things—whether it be my hairdresser keeping a clip I left in the salon a year ago or just simply treating myself to Chinese takeout, I've made it a point each day to reflect on one good thing. Big or small. It keeps me in check and focused on what matters and what makes me happy. After I write these little blurbs down on my mini Post-Its, I drop it into a blue mason jar on my bookshelf for safe keeping. When one day I find myself in need of a little uplift, I can open one of these blurbs and remind myself of all the good I've experienced. Cheesy enough yet?
The newness of spring is on the horizon and I'm ready for whatever may bloom this month. Keepin' it fresh and being open to change—or even cultivating change—in my routine is on my radar and I'm looking forward to sunnier and longer days ahead!
Strength has been the theme to the start of the new year for me.
Regaining my strength after the relax and rest of the holidays, finding the strength to return back to my routine, and building strength—both physical and mental. Strength has manifested itself in many ways for me, but I've noticed lately that I'm falling short of it.
However, just when I think I'm at my weakest is when I realize just how strong I can truly be. It could be as simple as waking up at a consistent time every morning, lifting heavier weights at the gym, or finding the emotional capacity to be vulnerable to trying something new or open up to someone.
I think we all have different definitions of strength and what it means for us—our physical, emotional, and mental capacities are constantly tested, tried, and worn. Especially at a time when the world is digressing into what could be another lockdown, here's to hoping. I lean on strength and cultivating strength to get through it all, so here's how:
Finding Power in Discomfort
There's nothing more discomforting than finding out that your body or mind has reached its limit. I noticed this the other day when I started benching. I don't usually go to the gym and bench a ton because I don't normally have anyone to spot me, but this time I was working out with a friend who encouraged me to try it. I've always been curious to see how much weight I was capable of handling, but to my surprise it didn't take too much weight for my left bicep to completely give out on me. I felt defeated and like I should definitely have been able to lift more.
I'm writing this with sore biceps and the realization that although my arms gave out on me, I tried and I tested my strength in a way I never have before. When mental and physical challenges test us, it's truth telling of just how strong we actually can be—even when we think we're at our weakest in the moment. We never truly know how strong we are if we just allow ourselves to submit to the discomfort of the challenge or obstacle at hand.
Leaning on People
This may seem like a given, but I find that I need the constant reminder that building strength isn't just a solo venture. Knowing that there are people who are on the same journey to find strength, in whatever form, lifts me up just as much as it lifts them up.
Specifically, choosing people who choose me; who care enough to want to stay, listen, and allow me to be my completely and utterly genuine self. I've found that these select people: family, friends, and colleagues are those who I can lean onto, learn from, and feel uplifted by.
Reflecting on the Good Every DayI find it easier to get through the day when I can find at least one positive or good thing that happened, no matter how miniscule. It keeps me present and allows me to focus on the things that truly matter. One way I've started doing this is keeping a jar aside to write at least one good thing on a sticky note each day. It could have been a really, really good latte or going out with friends to play mini golf.
I jot it down, toss it in the jar, and by the end of the year I hope to have a whole jar filled with all the good that I've experienced. I think when we're trying to be strong and deal with the not-so-pretty parts all of the time, we breeze over the small joys in life.
Cultivating the power to find strength is just as difficult and dubious as finding the power to let yourself feel weak. No matter the challenge or struggle, I want to remember that it's okay to be at a discomfort with my situation, the unknown, or whatever I may be dealing with and lean on the people I trust. Remembering what matters and what uplifts me.
I am strong and you are too.
I'm sitting at a very festive coffee shop in my hometown, chai latte in hand, and it almost feels like I'm the main character of a post-Christmas Hallmark movie—whose decided that there's no better time to start blogging again than the second day of the new year. Ah 2022, what are we going to do.
So many possibilities of what the new year could bring. Every season I always feel a sense of pressure to make necessary resets: whether it be taking down all of the Christmas decorations asap, re-organizing my closet, limiting my social media use, investing in a new hobby, muting toxic people—the whole lot.
What I have forgotten to do is reflect on what I have actually accomplished this past year amidst the worrying and curiosity over what could come. I graduated college, I got my first job, I travelled more than I thought I would, I started powerlifting, I met some pretty stellar folks, and besides the icky mucky bumps here and there, 2021 served me well.
I will say that I am ready for change, not so much Chicago winter, but you can only ask for so much right? I do have a couple of goals I would like to keep in mind throughout the year and things I am looking forward to. In addition, I need to treat each day with optimism and openness for the possibility of change and growth—not letting some stale or stagnant days be wasted and making the most out of every opportunity to live a bit more mindfully this year.
Moving On and Moving Out
A goal that has been pushed off my radar since I moved back home during Covid is when I would officially move out. I made it a point to do everything in my power to find a job and get on my feet after college before moving back into the city. I've romanticized the idea of what living on my own would be like. Granted, I don't want to live alone but having the power to finally have my own space, closer to the city I love, and where I can begin a new chapter is all so enchanting to me. I don't think it will be anytime in the next couple of months, but this year is definitely the year. Thankfully, my sisters and my best friend have all volunteered to go apartment hunting with me, so I would be open to sharing that process with you all later on. One big step and it will happen very, very soon—I know it.
Fostering Momentous Motivation
With the idea of moving, which is already a huge moment of change, I already know that there is still a lot of newness and experiences I have yet to have. With winter rolling back around and the Omicron variant lurking, I don't want to sink back into the comfort bubble again—whether it be repeating the same workouts at the gym (or from home), not turning my camera on during work calls, or just hunkering down because "it's too cold out".
There was a time when I used to be so vigilant and proactive about reaching for things like applying for a new executive role in a club or applying for study abroad, no matter how uncomfortable or strenuous the process was. I tell some of my friends who are finishing up college that I genuinely miss learning and having benchmarks to master: like speaking to people fluently in Spanish, the ambition I used to have when I was drafting and re-drafting my resume, the adrenaline rush I used to get before I would meet a new student to tutor. I didn't realize it then, but I was cultivating a routine that I would yearn for the rest of my life. I want to be constantly productive, proactive with my goals, and reclaim that motivation I had when I would crank out twelve page papers on the Yellowstone River in the library. I miss that Natalie, but she is back and more ready to take on whatever may come her way.
Choosing People Who Choose Me
This year brought forth a new realization of how I prioritize and care about my relationships—platonic or romantic. I've been able to experience different relations with people, more than I thought I would this year. I needed the connection and I craved it to a point where I didn't even recognize myself because I truly came out of my shell this summer. People come and go, yes, but I like to think that I try to lead every interaction knowing that I put in the effort to connect, listen, and learn something new from everyone I meet. No matter how long they stay. I want to invest my time, energy, love, and compassion with people who want to be around me.
Investing in Me-Time
Sure I've been a bit of a social butterfly this year, but with that came a lot of worrying and dwelling about other people. A lot of what I yearn for, like a newfound motivation for example, came at a time when I was fully content and driven to work on myself when nobody else was really in the picture. It ebbs and flows at different points in my life of course, but I always find that when I'm doing the things I love (like writing), I am focused and am feeding my soul what it really needs! I want to make more conscious decisions when it comes to investing in what I need and what will help me best succeed.
I am embracing the new year with grace, knowing that each and every day will be different and I have to also give myself grace when I need to slow things down and reflect. Rather than setting a template for how I want 2022 to look, I'll always go back to what my dad urges me to remember: to take it day by day.
I am ready for more laughs, more wine nights, experiencing jaw dropping views, surprising myself by reaching new heights, and maybe learning how to actually cook in the process—give or take.
What are you looking forward to in the new year?
There is so much dread this time of year. Not just because it's spooky season. There's a lot of dread because days are getting darker, the air is getting colder, and the lull in summertime fun and fall activities starts to fizzle out once the first frost blows over.
The holidays are just a good distraction above all else. Even in recent years I was either cramming for final exams or trying to navigate my way through the city while the months started to drag—my mindset started to drag. All of that promise and motivation at the beginning of fall simmers, but this time around I don't feel it that much.
After over a year of just utter confusion, despair, and all things chaos in the world, I think I am coming to terms with finding new ways to cope and have been re-evaluating my outlook when it comes to my mentality and being proactive in finding ways to combat those fall-time blues.
Connect & Rekindle...
One of the best ways I've committed to a more positive mindset is by surrounding myself with positive and supportive people—seems easy right? I am lucky enough to have close relationships with my family members, but as of late, I've been meeting a lot of genuinely good people. Whether it be at my gym, rekindling old high school friendships while at home, or even fostering new ones with my colleagues now that I've headed back to the office as of late.
As much as I thrive being on my own and finding my own modes of independence, I rely on others as much as becoming immersed in their stories and knowing that there's always more to learn from people. That in itself has given me comfort because for a long time, there was nobody, and I felt like there weren't ever opportunities to meet new people.
Wholesome Habits...
In addition, I've been creating healthier habits for myself and am latching onto them on a daily basis. Every morning I make sure to not just log into my phone or computer and actually take time to get ready, listen to a short podcast or horoscope like Leo Today, and set my intentions for what I want to do and get done that day. I'm also working out and am being consistent with how I treat my body. Not to mention, limiting my alcohol intake and just fueling my body with what it really needs.
Fear is Temporary...
I can't remember if I read this on a notepad or saw this quote on my Motivation app, but I think it definitely fits the theme of spooky season and has resonated a lot with me lately because I'm finding myself taking a lot of risks and jumping head on into situations I don't think twice about—in a good way, at least.
There are so many things that hold us back from making decisions. So much so, that I am just taking my own free will to trust my gut and jump on opportunities that come my way. Whether it be a simple decision like whether or not I introduce myself to a new colleague in the hallway or committing to something more physically challenging like squatting 185 pounds. Whatever it may be, I am beginning to admire the new part of myself that is open and not afraid to be uncomfortable any. more. I know this fear will go away eventually, so why not take the risk?
We all have the ability to change or improve our mindsets and I think developing a positive outlook, as hard as it can be, is something we all try to reach for. I mean who wants to be sucked into a lonely hole in their head? I hope the answer is no one.
Surrounding myself with positive people I care about, maintaining and developing consistent healthy habits, and letting myself be open and one with the process is how I've embraced discomfort and have learned to cope with those sometimes unsettling thought clouds.
My mental health is a huge priority for me right now, as it always has, but I feel reassured in knowing where I'm at and benchmarking my progress from months ago. The more I write and the more I talk to others, the better it gets, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who has been feeling at a loss with their head or just need some clarity and relief from noise.
Making space can be hard when you're living in a room you've since grown out of, staring at the same four walls you've painted over and over again, and finding room for growth can seem disheartening even when you've become satisfied by making tweaks here and there.
Recently, I've discovered the importance of making "space," or similarly, making room in my life for opportunities, discomfort, happiness, risk, and all else in between.
After months of introspection and working on myself—focusing on my mentality, physicality, and fostering relationships with those I care about, not to mention with those who show up—I have also realized the intricacies of living openly, freely, and accepting whatever may come my way.
As of late I've found it simpler to make "space" in my life rather than trying to control my surroundings, my interactions, my relationships, or my career. It's a vulnerable process. Having to submit to a "going with the flow" mentality is not always easy, especially for someone like me who is type-A and is constantly trying to fill out this "template" for how life should be.
I've learned through the people around me that we just cannot obsess about how the next day, night, week, or season will go. No matter what we're "waiting for" or "looking forward to," I can't help but wonder what I would be missing out on if I didn't just make space to be vulnerable, open, and willing to step outside of this comfort bubble in the current moment. Extending my capabilities beyond pre-set expectations.
Now you're probably wondering what all of this metaphorical mush is about (and I'll get there don't worry), but one example of this has been my strength journey and relationship with exercise as of late. For months I was always intimidated by the power-lifting at the gym, but through supportive friends and trainers who talked me through the process of safely and effectively weight lifting, I was able to squat 135 pounds! Look at them gains!
As a woman lifting that much weight in the gym, I thought I was going to take up space, but being uplifted by fellow trainers and even other people working out around me, I felt confident, secure, and powerful about making my own space to be a little uncomfortable and to try something new. I took that risk to see how far my body could take me.
Making enough space or just the right amount of space is contingent upon your comfort level, but taking those moments to step back and be open to the possibility of change, or creating change, in your life can happen in an instant. It's truly all about your mindset.
I'm definitely at this point in my life where everything is new, but at the same time, I have to stop trying to submit to one way of living, thinking, or being and just allow things to come as they please.
Whether it be reaching new strengths, reconnecting with old friends and forming new ones, being okay with spending time alone with myself, or planning spontaneous adventures—I know I am capable of creating those growth opportunities if I just make space for it.
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